The Next Fifty Years ...

I'm going to start right off by saying that I'm breaking a personal blogging rule tonight ... I can't remember a time that I've published a post where I write about someone else and not asked their permission to publish .. but tonight I'm doing it. I'm probably OK since he's only had a smart phone for a year and isn't on FB, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't subscribe to updates to Romanskiville [hmmm, we might need to address that but not tonight]

A few days ago, Paul celebrated his 50th birthday. The weeks leading up to that day the anxiety kicked in .. at first I was surprised and then I thought back to 40 and it all came back to me. He was um, miserable? annoying? depressed? ... hard to put my finger on it exactly mostly 'cause I think I was so surprised that it was a "thing" that I've tried to block it out of my head. 

Anyway, back to 50 .... From my perspective, we aren't old. Don't get me wrong, some days we ache from head to toe and we could go to bed, for the night, at 9:30. It is harder to recover from one too many beers but, generally, I think we're doing OK over here in Romanskiville. Having lived thru "40" with Paul, I knew that "it's only a number" or "you're only as old as feel" wasn't going to work with 50. 

My future's so bright, gotta wear shades

I took a different approach.....

"Look around, think about your life at 30. The things that mean the most to you now, did you have them then? The girls? Our beautiful home? Had you bowled a 300? Traveled to Honduras? Been to Disney World? Swam with Dolphins? Oh and don't forget me, the drop dead, gorgeous wife" 😉

I think my approach worked, well at least a little. He seemed a little less preoccupied with the number.

The day arrived. There was no party and there will not be. His only birthday request ... "PLEASE, do not have a party"

I thought about doing it anyway...for about 5 minutes. People tried to convince me, others kept asking if I had changed my mind. I realized how selfish that would be - to do the party. He is not me, he is a lean against the wall, or the bar and observe kinda guy .. he's totally fine with 'putting Baby in the corner" ... he bends to my every whim and does his best to make every one of my dreams come true. The girls wanted him to dance in the Dad's dance at the recital and he danced. 

So instead of a party, this year of 50 will be filled with special moments, trips, and memories because this man, would move heaven and earth for me and our family. The very least I can do is respect his one, simple request. 

March 2016

We were supposed to have dinner at a favorite hibachi restaurant on Saturday night to kick off our year .. thanks to a foot of snow we're rescheduling to the end of the month. Instead we stayed home, ate tacos and did our usual sharing of highs and lows. The girls went to bed, we had a celebratory cocktail and then Paul plowed at his mom's house and our house - trust me that tractor brings him joy! He even admitted when we finally called it a day a few minutes after midnight "that 50 isn't that bad!"

Stay tuned for more tales from "The year that Paul turned 50!"

It's So Hard to say Goodbye

It's a little after nine and I'm finally settling down at my keyboard. I hit play on iTunes and take a quick peek at Facebook. I'm doing the expressway scroll because, frankly, there is a lot of crap on FB. Then I see it, A Pioneer Woman post, entitled "A Sad Goodbye" and picture of "Charlie the Ranch Dog" 

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

The residents of Romanskiville LOVE Charlie the Ranch Dog .. we have most of the books and some are pretty "loved' - wrinkled and torn from little, excited fingers tearing, I mean, turning pages. 

I love Ree Drummond, she reminds me a little bit of me .. well the straight shooter, tell it like it is part ... the cooking part, not so much. 

As I read the post and she described Basset Hounds, I immediately thought of our friends, Tim and Jeanne, and their beloved Sadie. I stole a Charlie the Ranch dog cookie jar ... from my boss.... in my work Yankee Swap just so that I could gift it to them.  Sadie passed last July and it was like losing our pet. 

As PW talks about Charlie's failing health and having to make "the decision" I'm almost instantly transported back to June 2011 and Storm. I read on and a tear rolls down my cheek...... 

I know it may seem a little silly to be crying over someone else's dog and I'll admit, I'm a little overtired, a little under the weather and Paul's away. Thing is - if you are a dog person - you get it, the pure anguish while you sit with your Storm or Charlie and they take their last breath. You can get another dog, and they fill part of the void, but they never completely fill the hole. 

I think Ree was right on when she said "But anyone who’s ever loved a dog understands that it’s a special kind of loss"  

It is so hard to say goodbye.