Earlier tonight, the girls and I had dinner with someone who started out as a friend but has become an important part of our family. She arrived with ice cream, flowers and genuine appreciation to be sharing a meal with us. She and her husband were at our wedding and 13 years later, I still think of that moment in the receiving line when she took me by the elbows and said with the biggest smile "You look radiant" ... the photographer even caught that exchange and that moment meant so much to me that it is one of the candids in our big wedding album. Every time I see it, I hear her voice in my head saying that.
Some wives might be annoyed that their husband planned his annual guys trip to coincide with their anniversary, but it is just another day. That probably sounds bad but here's what I mean. Paul shows up - he's present. Every. Stinking. Day. Sometimes, the days really stink too.
We weren't high school sweethearts. We weren't first loves. We were older when we met. One fresh off a divorce, one still trying to finalize one. We were angry. We were bruised. We were battered, limping along. Don't get me wrong, we were both getting by with help from family and friends, but we had some work to do.
There were people who surprised us - the people who said things fairly early in our relationship like "you two have a lot of baggage, you should go to therapy", "do you have anything in common?", "He's a little more blue collar than you date" and my personal favorite - the people who took up residence in our Ex's camp.
I joked around our 10th anniversary that I was pretty sure there were some side comments or bets at our wedding on "how long this would last" and that I was thinking we probably should get the pot at that point.
I've been re-reading a lot of old posts about Paul and us this last week ... last year on FB I posted this:
"You are fiercely loyal and protective. Your faith in me never wavers ..... You are strong and steady and you continue to make every dream I dream come true. Happy Anniversary - love you and the life we've built more than you'll ever know."
All that still applies today - in bold, italics, underline ... we have had the most amazing year and much of that is because we have come to an understanding on the importance of us, that it is our number one priority. It has been a year that was lived with much intention and the results have taken my breath away.
Years ago, I was sharing with a high school friend that I had reconnected with on FB how finding Paul changed my life and she posted this on my wall with something along the lines "Like this???"
Yup, pretty much.
We would have made it if we hadn't had the good fortune to be introduced by mutual friends, but we are definitely #bettertogether.
So it doesn't matter to me that I was in CT and he is in NJ tonight ...because every day is a celebration.
