If I could only tell her ...

So it is BEYOND crazy in Romanskiville, especially this week.  We are trying to move as much as we can into the new house before the inspection for our CO on Friday.  I also have an installation appointment with with AT&T for Friday as well - third times the charm - right?  Sunday is the Christmas Story skit at church, then Romanski Family Christmas in Colchester and back to Norwich for the bowling Xmas party at 5.   I am not sure who I have gifts for and where I am lacking.  I ordered our Christmas card this morning and I'm printing the Christmas letter now .... see, told you - CRAZINESS

On Tuesday, I picked up Brooke at daycare and she ran out of the playroom and said "Mom, you didn't pack me a snack" it took me a minute to realize she was not talking about the snack I bring for her to eat on the way to dance .. she meant her snack for school.  CRAP ... I totally forgot that morning.  

I might have mentioned we're living in a state of confusion these days.

Yesterday, I am greeted with "Mom, you forgot to put my library book in my backpack -today was library"

OK, so the child is "only" in first grade but doesn't she have SOME responsibility here -- would it be to much to ask for her to mention on Tuesday night that she needs help locating her library book?

What I really want to say to her is "last week 20 little kids, most of who are the same age as you and in first grade didn't come home from school - 11 days before Christmas.  I want to tell her that every time I see an article about Newtown in the paper or on the home page of MSN or I get a text from the local news, I can't catch my breath.  I start to imagine the pain and suffering of planning your first grader's funeral and the pile of gifts that will never be received.  There are times when I am moved to tears. I want to tell her that only having the "healthy snack" one afternoon won't kill her and that we have lots of other books to read until she goes back the school library on Jan 2" 

OF COURSE, I won't say any of this to her.  I will fall on my sword and tell her jokingly that I am "the meanest Mommy ever", she'll smile and say that I'm not and we'll go on about our business.  I mean it IS days away from Christmas and Santa is coming to fill up the bare space under the tree. As far as my girls know, all is right with the world and there is only love and joy.  

For now, we continue to protect them from much of the evil in our world.  We are giving out more hugs and kisses, we are acting a little sillier then usual and we are going on. It is all we can really do ....