He is not a role model ...

So earlier this week he came clean ... by "he" I mean Lance Armstrong.  He admits that for years he has been a fraud.  That he doped to have this amazing success.  Talk about a let down.  I know, I make it sound like we went to school together or he was my friend.  I didn't know anything about cycling until he got sick and announced that he was fighting testicular cancer. Tour de where?  I read his book.  I was sickened by the part where his team entered his hospital room to tell him he was out ... I wore my yellow Livestrong bracelet.  I gave to his charity.  One of my favorite Nike commercials is the one where Lance Armstrong  says "What am I on? What am I on? I'm on my bike, 6 hours a day, busting my A$$" and well maybe he was ... but clearly that wasn't all he was on. 

I remained a supporter even when all those charges and allegations gained momentum.  When he had his titles stripped Paul said "Heather, how could they get it wrong?"  I still argued that he passed all these random tests - how could he have have managed a cover up at that level?  Then Monday, its leaked he has confessed to Oprah Winfrey in an interview.  What the heck?  What a freaking jerk ... how could he be such a fake? fraud? liar?  

I realize now the real reason I'm pissed is because I "bought into it".  It reminds me of all the times in the past when I fell for the crap that was thrown my way.  How in college, I thought that super hot guy that worked at public safety with me wasn't the jerk that a bunch of people said he was. WRONG.  It reminded me of when I bought into the load of crap that 3 failed marriages weren't a certain individuals fault. How being a "trophy wife" didn't minimize your value as an individual.  Yup, was really naive with that one.   How I believed that Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa were really awesome baseball players. How John Edwards was this great family man who had suffered tragedy after tragedy and was not just another slimeball politician. How someone stole Susan Smith's car and drove it into the lake drowning her children. No one wants to look like or feel like a fool. 

So back to Lance, I had put him on a pedestal.  He didn't ask me to specifically - no phone call, letter or email.  I'm fairly confident he doesn't read Romanskiville .... but in my mind he was this awesome stand up guy and really he's just a guy.   When I was arguing with myself the last few days about this, it reminded me of the old Nike commercial with Charles Barkley ... "I am not a role model" ..... [Yup, I think that Phil Knight has a really awesome marketing team at Nike] Its on YouTube and and the link is above if you don't remember it.  Charles was playing professional basketball when it was made and was known for his antics on the court.  Accused of playing dirty, rough, swearing too much, etc.  Its an interesting perspective, 'I'm a basketball player, it isn't my job to raise your kids.'

It really is all about perspective ... your perspective changes as your life does, as you experience heartbreak and joy, ups and downs. You realize that people are more alike than not. You realize you need to spend time admiring the real people who make small little marks on the world every day and not get so caught up in the media hype.  I would propose that when you do "buy into the crap" that you cut yourself some slack.  People aren't always what they seem and sometimes you will be fooled because some people are really, really good at creating the facade. 

No, he's not a role model .... but maybe he never should have been.