I remained a supporter even when all those charges and allegations gained momentum. When he had his titles stripped Paul said "Heather, how could they get it wrong?" I still argued that he passed all these random tests - how could he have have managed a cover up at that level? Then Monday, its leaked he has confessed to Oprah Winfrey in an interview. What the heck? What a freaking jerk ... how could he be such a fake? fraud? liar?
I realize now the real reason I'm pissed is because I "bought into it". It reminds me of all the times in the past when I fell for the crap that was thrown my way. How in college, I thought that super hot guy that worked at public safety with me wasn't the jerk that a bunch of people said he was. WRONG. It reminded me of when I bought into the load of crap that 3 failed marriages weren't a certain individuals fault. How being a "trophy wife" didn't minimize your value as an individual. Yup, was really naive with that one. How I believed that Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa were really awesome baseball players. How John Edwards was this great family man who had suffered tragedy after tragedy and was not just another slimeball politician. How someone stole Susan Smith's car and drove it into the lake drowning her children. No one wants to look like or feel like a fool.
So back to Lance, I had put him on a pedestal. He didn't ask me to specifically - no phone call, letter or email. I'm fairly confident he doesn't read Romanskiville .... but in my mind he was this awesome stand up guy and really he's just a guy. When I was arguing with myself the last few days about this, it reminded me of the old Nike commercial with Charles Barkley ... "I am not a role model" ..... [Yup, I think that Phil Knight has a really awesome marketing team at Nike] Its on YouTube and and the link is above if you don't remember it. Charles was playing professional basketball when it was made and was known for his antics on the court. Accused of playing dirty, rough, swearing too much, etc. Its an interesting perspective, 'I'm a basketball player, it isn't my job to raise your kids.'
It really is all about perspective ... your perspective changes as your life does, as you experience heartbreak and joy, ups and downs. You realize that people are more alike than not. You realize you need to spend time admiring the real people who make small little marks on the world every day and not get so caught up in the media hype. I would propose that when you do "buy into the crap" that you cut yourself some slack. People aren't always what they seem and sometimes you will be fooled because some people are really, really good at creating the facade.
No, he's not a role model .... but maybe he never should have been.
2 comments:
But didn't we create the personna of that role model? Who wouldn't go along with that?
I'm saddened that he confessed after such a long time and saddened that we didn't have this super hero that we had conjured up.
But gladdened in the fact that he rose awareness of cancer to the masses - I think his Livestrong ideal was true and sincere (hopefully we won't be fooled by that one also) and if more people are paying attention to their health because of his doping so he win races so he could be famous and he could start a movement like that - then I will forgive him for that.
He's a man, just like any other man trying to be the best that he can be - unfortunately - he didn't think he could do this all on his own.
As I have always said, the only person you really know inside and out is....yourself! Even on a smaller scale others do not make the hard choices that are needed to show the integrity I find to be admirable. Once the almighty dollar is introduced, boy how the mighty crumble. Integrity becomes a laughable quality. So sad.
Just to prove I still find value in those who have fallen, I too am thankful for the awareness, support and research fostered by Livestrong.
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