What you see

I stumbled across this quote earlier tonight, let's just say it struck a cord. 

The past 6 weeks have been an adjustment to say the least, new routines, no routines, no schedule, it is all um... weird.

There have been applications, phone screens, rejection emails and interviews. I get emails with anywhere from 15 to 50 possible positions daily - some are duplicates, some are not even close, like the greeter at Friendly's and others are not that easy to rule out. What does that company do? Am I qualified? Should I apply anyway? How long of a commute is that? 

Last week wasn't a great week, Kristen is struggling with my not working, when the girls struggle, I struggle. There was lots of back and forth to workshops, meetings and preparations for a full weekend of family activities. The workshops are definitely worth the time but the back and forth makes it harder to get in a groove. I was tired from the running and felt like little progress was made on the job search front.  The self-imposed emotional breakdown followed.  

I do desperately want people to believe that I am OK, to think that I have it together. Most days it IS OK, but some days it isn't.  

I learning to accept that it's OK, to not be OK.