#4 - I am thankful for quiet mornings
I'm often the first one up in Romanskiville regardless of weekday or weekend. I head downstairs, start the coffee and walk the dog. I curl up with a book, catch up on laundry, pay bills, meal prep or something else on the "to do's". Sometimes it's only 15 minutes and sometimes it's an hour ... but that time gives me a chance to think, plan, problem solve with out any distraction. Sometimes I just get to take in the view...
#4 - I am thankful for quiet mornings
#3 - I am thankful for our family photographs
I try to be so good about taking pictures of concerts, halloween costumes, birthday parties and Christmas morning. We have thousands of pictures from before we were married til now.
Thing is, when you're the one taking the pictures you aren't in the pictures or I'm in the picture but Paul isn't.
Lucky for us, a close friend and neighbor has taken an interest in photography and has a sweet camera. She often thinks to bring it along and then makes it a point to take pictures of the 4 of us.
Don't get me wrong -- we have those thousands of pictures of all those magical moments .. but the ones of the 4 of us .. those are my absolute favorites.
#3 - I am thankful for our family photographs
#2 - I am thankful for my work family
I mentioned that earlier this week we had a pretty serious storm. We have some damage to the truck and the Honda but we were pretty much unscathed. A close friend had a gigantic tree fall across her driveway and take down wires.
She has been without power, water, heat, and her car since Sunday night. Thinking she might get attention fairly quickly given the lines were wrapped in the tree and a hazard she stayed home on Monday.
Tuesday, co-workers picked her up on their way in. She showered at another co-worker's house. She took my car at lunch to get water, duraflame logs, and something to cook on her gas stove. I took her home that afternoon ... but I had to fight for the privilege because there were so many people who were willing to pitch in and lend a hand.
Tuesday and Wednesday saw no change in the situation ... not ETA on when Eversource might be able to get there to clear the mess.
We continued to be her unofficial UBER drivers. It is just what we do for each other. It is exactly what SHE would do if one of us were in jam. She would have rolled up her sleeves and made a plan to solve the current situation.
The 10 years before I went to the college, I worked from home. I worked with great people there too -- but they couldn't pick me up and drive me to or from work. They couldn't dog sit or come to my house on Christmas Eve day and read books with the girls. They couldn't take the girls for a Sunday afternoon to make surprise Christmas crafts.
I've been on the receiving end of so much generosity in the last 3 years. I - we - are so fortunate to have landed where we have.
#2 - I am thankful for my work family
November 1st .... the beginning of Thirty Days of Thanks.
#1 - I am thankful for power .. like electricity
Sunday night, we had a terrible storm. Trees down, roads closed, utility poles snapped, school cancellations and delays on Monday. A large tree limb fell and damaged 2 of our 3 vehicles.
We never lost power. Not. Even. A. Blink.
I have a friend who has 2 large trees wrapped in electric wires blocking her driveway. She has no power. That means no water. She can't get her car down her driveway.
So tonight's "I am thankful for..." was easy!
#30daysofthanks
#1 - I am thankful for power .. like electricity
8:37 pm.
That's what time Paul got home from work tonight. Last night was 8:15 and the night before was 8:30. I think there was one night last week where he got home about 7:40. We aren't even close to "peak" season.
Brooke gets home from school around 3:40 and I grab Kristen with a minute or 2 to spare before 5. Homework, dinner, walk the dog, feed the dog, laundry, unpacking from everyone's day ... some nights there is dance, some nights a meeting, there is thirty-one work to do, and showers, prep for the next day.
These super late nights were just something that happened occasionally until the beginning of September when Paul's start time changed. Now those 7:30 nights are a cause for celebration.
Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining .... I am very aware that there are a lot of women out there doing this single-handed, 24 x 7. Some of these women are my friends - I'm so impressed by their strength and determination but mostly their stamina! I have a friend who sends her man out to sea for months at time. I'm so thankful that mine comes home every night.
I'm grateful that he does the dishes and cleans the kitchen before he heads out in the morning. I love that he gets up at 6 am to spend 35 minutes working out with me in the gym that he built in our basement. My heart sings when the very first thing he does when he walks through the door is head to kiss the girls.
I can see they miss having him around at night. They text him for an ETA. They start to peek out the window as it gets close. They squeal with glee when they hear the front door open.
This will get easier as they get older, they'll stay up later. They will be busier at night with work, school clubs, friends, and eventually they won't need us to chauffeur.
For now, it is forcing us to pick and choose how we spend the precious little time we have together. It is so hard to balance and prioritize and sometimes we make unpopular decisions. People judge. People take your choices personally. People say you are selfish.
About a year ago, Paul and I made a very conscious decision to make some changes - we were running ourselves ragged trying to make every event, accept every invitation and we weren't always focused on the four of us.
The last year has been one of our best. We've been present for each other in ways we weren't before. Our kids are thriving. Our marriage is solid.
We got through one of the most hectic and crazy months I can remember - together.
9:44 pm - He's just finished eating dinner .... in 20 minutes we'll head upstairs and get ready for bed ... because that 5:30 am alarm comes early
I read a book recently that talked about the power of affirmations. It was so bold as to say "DROWN YOURSELF IN AFFIRMATIONS" .. the author talks about training your brain to think differently. She says "Figure out what affirmations you need to hear the most and repeat them all day long in your head, in the car, while you're walking down the street.." Anyway, you get the idea.
So I'm reading this book and trying to figure out what I need to hear most at a time when there is all sorts of chaos in our lives -- school is out, work hours are shortened, our summer childcare situation is so confusing and convoluted that my head wants to explode.
I'm having a conversation with a really good friend and she says "I'm just going to keep doing what I know is right because I know in my heart I am a good person" .. when I read what she typed in that text message - I thought to myself .. I need to print that up and tape it to the bathroom wall .. so it is the first thing I see in the morning. I shared my plan with my friend -- she mentioned that we have a mutual friend who might cross-stitch it for me. Much less rednecky than my taped piece of printer paper to the wall idea!
I ask my cross-stitching friend if I could pay her to make my vision come to life. She agrees to do it. I tell her my colors and she comes up with a design and I love it. We agreed that she could get to it whenever because she has other projects in process to finish first.
Fast forward a couple of months.....
The last few weeks have been particularly hectic at work and at home, add in that Paul's start time has been pushed back and he is routinely home after 8pm. This last week has been really trying ... like I'm ready for bed at 8:30 and making my way there closer to 11.
A few mornings ago, I made my way to the work kitchen to heat up some breakfast and glanced at the mailboxes on my way by. I could see that something was in mine and I think I sighed out loud. You know the sigh that says "what now???"
When I finally made my way to check it ... I was so pleasantly surprised. There it was, my affirmation. Exactly the way I envisioned it - in the colors I asked for, complete with a beautiful blue frame. I couldn't thank her right away, because she was away from her desk.
When I finally caught up with her. I told her how it was perfect - exactly the way I pictured it in my head and I asked her what I owed her.
"Nothing." She said.
I argued "I didn't want this to cost you anything"
"It cost me nothing to make"
"but your time" I said ...
"You do nice things for people all the time. I wanted to do something for you" She replied.
I am filled with gratitude for her friendship and kindness. That beautiful project will eventually make its way to the place I planned for it to hang .. but for now it sits on my desk at work, where I glance it several times a day. #kindnesscounts
I think September 11, 2001 is the JFK assassination of my lifetime. I remember where I was, what people said, what I thought, what I was afraid of and how the nation reacted. My parents talk about that November day with that same clarity.
I wrote about that day a long time ago here on Romanskiville in a post called That Day Changed Me ...
In September 2001, I was in the middle of a messy divorce and had moved home to my parents basement. While I was happy to have the support of my family, there's something humbling about living in your parents basement at 29.
A few weeks after the attack, the company I worked for won the disaster recovery contract for a company that had been housed in the World Financial Center across from the World Trade Center. I packed my bags and headed for a hotel in Stamford, CT to work with another 10 or so employees. Our task was to build new offices and set up the technology for the displaced employees.
The work was physically demanding - unpacking big monitors and computers and lugging them to their new desks. The days were long, sometimes 14-16 hours - building machine after machine. It was a perfect time for me to be away and super busy - my legal issues were easy to ignore and living in a basement in someone else's house meant I had little responsibility.
The work filled me with purpose, something I desperately needed. We worked with a team of employees from the other company. One told us how he ran down the street with his briefcase on his head to protect himself from the falling debris. One day someone brought the team leader from the other company an envelope of some personal effects from her desk. When the WTC collapsed it blew out 4 floors in the World Financial Center and only a handful of people were ever allowed back inside. When she slid the picture frame from the envelope, it was a picture of her kids. The glass was cracked and pieces of glass clinked around. A single tear rolled down her cheek. So many were gone, so many spared because they were late, at a class, or in a meeting somewhere else. Talk about perspective.
We worked for about 3 weeks before the first wave of employees arrived to their new location. Some talked about the 3+ hours to get to Stamford. Some had traveled from New Jersey to Grand Central and, finally, on to Stamford. The site lead for our team had gotten us all red, long sleeve t-shirts to wear that first day in order to make the "the IT Guys" easy to identify.
"Your computer won't turn on? Find someone in a red shirt" "Can't login? find someone in a red shirt." Simple, but effective.
An elevator of us IT guys were heading back to work from lunch that day ... the elevator doors opened and there were employees waiting to board.
"Hey, it's the red shirt people." a voice announced.
One said "Thank you" and then one clapped and then they all clapped and someone whistled. The IT guys didn't know what to do, we awkwardly slapped a few high fives as we exited, assured them it was nothing, and went on our way.
I've been in IT a long time - no one ever cheered for me before that day and no one has since.
That moment was such a reality check for me ... something that seemed so routine and maybe insignificant was really a big deal to people who had been through so much. I think many were relieved to be back to work, to be able to start to get back into a routine.
A few month later, the people who worked that project received some letters of thanks from division presidents and this little Lucite apple. "For your courage and commitment" was etched in it.
I didn't feel like I had been very courageous or that I had done anything special. At the time, I didn't realize how life changing that experience was.
I still have that apple. It reminds me of the people that I worked with on that project. It reminds me of the gratitude of the employees who were so happy to have a place to do their work. That silly little piece of plastic reminds me of a time when I found strength and courage when I thought I had none.
It reminds me of the worst of times and how they can show you the glimmer of the best of people and times.
