I'm back

Dear Romanskiville Blog,
I know it seems as though I have deserted you and, frankly, at times I have.  I love creating funny and clever blog entries and would do it for a living if I could. I let 2011 and all that came with it -- clutter, chaos, the anguish of losing our beloved Storm (no, we aren't over it), transition to a new routine, school, uniforms and weekday dance class swallow me up.  As the year wore on, I was more and more consumed by work and home ... and potty training (yup, still fighting that battle too.) Then the holidays arrived and Paul's hours increased - exponentially.  We grew tired and frustrated and started to count the days til Christmas would pass all the while putting on a brave face for the girls.  The girls LOVED Christmas so we seemed to do ok there. I bought more then 85% of my gifts online or in stores like Kohl's, Target and Walmart that are open til midnight or 24 hours. I was still shopping on December 23.

We declined multiple invitations. That hurt feelings and caused disappointment. I felt guilty and some saw fit to add to that guilt.  Then there were those who "got it" ... the ones who put their arm around you and said "you can only do so much" ..... the people who reminded you that Christmas is for enjoying your kids and the wonder and excitement that seeps from their pores ... the people with grown children who sympathetically told you "it won't always be like this" We are so fortunate to be blessed with so many more of the people who provide support and encouragement in our lives.

I read my 2011 New Year's blog post again the other night -- I talked about 2011 being all about learning a "new normal" ... I realized as I re-read that post that learning and accepting are not the same.  I did learn that new normal, but I did not accept it.  On the outside I played it like I was all "good" .... inside not so much.  I'm not telling you anything you didn't already know -- keeping up a charade like that is exhausting.  By December, I wasn't even really able to pretend anymore, it became glaringly evident when a colleague said to me "Oh Heather, you sound so weary."

I'm so thankful for every single person - friend, family member, co-worker who helped pull me thru December 2011. I appreciated every phone call, email, conversation, errand and babysitter. 2012 has started off better.  Paul is still working long days but most nights is home by 8:30. I have better control of the evening routine. I'm excited about all we have planned for our family this year. The girls are healthy.  I've come to terms with the fact that what works for us will not make 100% of the people in our lives happy and I'm ok with that- I really, really am.  I accept my new normal.

So Romanskiville Blog and Followers, watch out - - I missed you and all the smiles that you bring me. I'm back and I promise to be more committed.  The residents of Red Neck Blvd have big plans and we hope you'll join us for the adventure.