At a loss .....

It has been a long 24 hours and my mind has wandered frequently today.  I learned last night that an old friend from high school took his own life and is gone far too young.  I wonder how bad things must have gotten for him to feel this was his only way out.  I wonder how he ended up feeling so isolated and alone. 

We grew up in a small town - sort of like Cheers - where every one knows your name and your parents and lots of stuff - maybe even stuff you wish they didn't.  Word of this tragedy has spread fast and left many sad and bewildered.

I am sad that he is gone but even more so my heart aches for the family he has left behind.  I am certain they are devastated, confused, and maybe even angry.  They are left to pick up the pieces and go on without him.  They have dealt with so much sadness over the years.  It seems unfair that they got dealt this hand.

Bob and I lost touch for a long time, reconnected via email in the last few years and then were friends on FB.  I keep looking at his profile on Facebook, his profile picture is the perfect image.  It is the Bob that I remember from HS and I swear he looked exactly like that all those years ago.  He was gentle, kind, funny and sarcastic, but in a charming way.  You were happy in his presence and spent most of that time laughing.  It is unfathomable to me that his last hours were filled with violence and confrontation ... it just is not the person I knew and isn't the man I will remember.

I choose to believe in a God that does not intercede in tragedies, but weeps for them.  A God that offers strength and courage to go on when nothing makes sense.  I pray that God will allow the people that are overcome with grief to mourn and, in time, to heal. 

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance ........ a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace" Ecclesiastes 3:1-8


For me, this doesn't seem like it was the "right" time, but I don't make the rules or shape the future.  I hope beyond all hope that this is his 'time for peace'

1971 ~ 2011