It's a lot like getting a divorce

I'm finding that getting laid off is a lot like getting divorced .. especially when you are laid off from a place that you were in a relationship with longer than both your husbands combined.  You have to admit that made you smile. 

As I promised in my last post, this morning I got up at the usual time.  I got the girls ready for school and made sure Paul was set for his day. We had the usual arguments about coats and shoes and I kissed each of them on their way out the door. 

Then I sat down at my computer, already noticing that there was a lot more room with only one on my desk now. I checked my email, spent a few minutes on Facebook, played a few rounds of Bejeweled.  After a good 30- 40 minutes of avoidance, I got down too it.  

Item #1 - complete the transfer of service for my cell phone from a corporate account to personal account.  That was almost as irritating as it was trying to split the cellphone bill into 2 bills when I divorced my first husband.  The woman answered, I told her "I was laid off and needed to complete the transfer to a personal account". I told her that I had a confirmation number - did she need it? No, not yet.  She asked if I was able to provide her the account number. Um, no .. I haven't paid for this phone ever ... I have NEVER even seen a bill.  I DO have that confirmation of transfer number .. no, that won't help.  SERIOUSLY???? For a minute I thought about giving up and just getting a new phone number.  Twenty-four minutes later .. I had a new "personal" account for my cell phone. I guess it could have been worse. 

Item #2 - call the Porta Potty people .. for years we've had a "seasonal" porta potty.  We had one bathroom in our old house and it was on the second floor. When we put the pool in we quickly realized how annoying that was.  Anyway, now we have 3 bathrooms and one on the first floor, right next to an outside door. It is an expense we no longer need to [or can afford to] incur. 

Item #3 - change email addresses .. make my gmail address my primary one on LinkedIn, delete my old work one all together. Log onto several other accounts and remove any traces of my old work address. I will NEVER make that mistake again ... using a work address for my personal stuff .. I am sure that I missed something .... somewhere. 

The day wore on, several loads of laundry were processed. I took Kristen to the Dr for her cough, picked up her meds, grabbed a few groceries. There were several phone calls and texts "to just see how you are doing", invites to lunch and requests to stop in and visit sometime this week ... all very much appreciated ... it is getting easier to talk about. I appreciate not feeling isolated.  

The worst part of the whole thing is still having to say it out loud. "I got laid off" .. people are empathetic and kind - they tell you it will be OK, that it's a "great" time to be out of work and that you can "collect." All of this is true but it did remind me when I got divorced in 2001. How saying "I got laid off" feels very reminiscent of "we're getting divorced" or "we're not together anymore". Your brain tells you it was time for the relationship to end, but your heart feels like maybe you could have done something differently, to change the outcome, so that you could have avoided all this YUCK. 

I'm not really sure at what point in the day I had a bit of an epiphany .... when I decided to divorce my first husband it sucked for a while but in the long run it is the single best decision I've ever made. When I got through that my life made a 180 degree turn, for the better.  Getting through that made me strong and self-confident and led me to the "perfect" life we've built here in Romanskiville. 

Maybe unemployment offers me the same experiences and lessons .. I know the kind of culture and employer I want to be affiliated with and now, in my 40's, I have the ability to articulate that in a way I couldn't in my 20's. 

I'm still uneasy about the future but I am trying very hard to trust in and believe that this really is the beginning of something so much better.