O Captain my captain

Earlier this week, I was sitting in the kitchen of a close friend's beach cottage and heard the familiar tune alerting me to a new text message. I grabbed my phone, flipped it over, and was stunned. "Actor Robin Williams has died at the age of 63" it read. It was not until later that night that I learned that he had taken his own life and my jaw literally dropped. 

I think that there is this notion that people in the spotlight, people with money and fame, are immune to common everyday challenges. I knew that Robin Williams had struggles with depression. I think I drew the conclusion that he must have the best medicine, best treatment plans, best therapists. I mean he was always laughing - right? I guess that is the thing though, about depression, sometimes all that isn't enough. 

Almost 2 years ago, something very similar struck our tight knit little group of friends. That dreaded phone call in the middle of the afternoon with the news that he was gone, taken his own life. On the outside, he was the life of the party and always laughing. I've been thinking about him more than usual since the news of Robin's untimely passing broke. 

It is so easy to judge and create labels - how selfish, cowardly - you know the things that people say. I think we really want the answer to the "why" when we can't wrap our heads around the reality, so that is what we come up with. I think the answer is you never really know what people are dealing with, what their fighting, wrestling with. Some people are really, really good at keeping all that hidden and sometimes it is just too much. 

"Oh Captain my captain, your fearful trip is done"