11.25.2018

Laughter ... the BEST Medicine

#25 - I am thankful for laughter

A good laugh heals a lot of hurts - Madeline L'Engle

The last 36 hours have had some seriously annoying moments. Paul and I headed out to bowling filled with frustration and anger, not with each other, but with circumstances. That sounds like a great way to start "date night" - huh? 

We walked into the lanes and our man, DJ CEE, in the house with the first round of cocktails waiting for us. A few minutes behind us .. Kim. We were bowling a fun team ... things were looking up. 

We laughed so much that my cheeks ache. We completely forgot about the crap and even managed to take 3 of the 4 points. It was a longer night than usual but the company we had was some of the best. 

I am so thankful for the laughs that healed some hurt and the sunshine it brought to our day. 

A good laugh is sunshine in the house - William Thackery


#25 - I am thankful for laughter

11.24.2018

Time Flies

There never seems to be enough time. Lately, there barely seems to be time for the list of things you have to do, never mind the want to do. The daily "I am thankful for" dropped off on day 4. The last week has been a really good one. We talked to my parents a lot, I got out of work an hour early on Wednesday, we had a great Thanksgiving day and an even better day after. So here's all the things I would have written about from day 5 til today!

I am thankful for ......

#5 - the right to vote

#6 - the Mom's in the Moriarty Parent Community Group

#7 - Weathertech floor mats - (they can actually contain a large iced coffee and 1.5 large hot chocolates and save your carpet)

#8 - coffee - all varieties - except instant [who am I kidding, I would drink it if is the only option available]

#9 - school uniforms

#10 - for the gym Paul built in our basement

#11 - for the girls that walk with me every Wednesday at lunch

#12 - tiny wines ... you know the little single serve ones ... so much better on a a school night

#13 - my Instant Pot

#14 - Tastefully Simple's Magic Chicken seasoning

#15 - scoring a parking spot at the loading dock at work

#16 - Kohl's liberal return policy

#17 - Younique Splurge cream eye shadow

#18 - Paul getting up at 5:30am every day to work out with me

#19 - my friend, Melissa, who brings Kristen to and from dance every week - at least twice a month she keeps her for dinner and oversees homework 

#20 - Makenzie, the high school senior that helps us drive the kids from here and there. Ya know, when ya can't be in 2 places at once

#21 - early outs at work

#22 - the times when we can be together - for a whole day - without a million things to do

#23 - HOT WATER

#24 - Thirty-one Gifts and all that it affords me beyond the commission check


11.04.2018

A Tale of Two Churches

#4 - I am thankful that our family has two churches

Many of you know that Paul is Catholic and the girls and I attend a Protestant church. Paul and I talked about this at a really high level before we got married, it was never an issue for us. It still isn't. When Sunday School is in session at First Congregational Church, the girls come with me. Sometimes in the Summer, they go to Mass with Paul. On Christmas Eve, we go to church twice - 4:00 pm Mass and then Candlelight service. I'll mention that there have been years that I have taken them to Christmas Eve Mass without Paul because he is still out in the big brown sleigh. On Easter, Paul comes with us. Today, there was a mass in remembrance of the 1 year anniversary of the passing of someone who was very important to Paul at 7:30am, so off we went. 

We make it work. 

In a way, I think this exposure to different churches is actually good for them. They know that when they are at their church -- they say sins in the Lord's Prayer and when they are in a Catholic Church they say "trespasses" ... they go to Mass enough to have almost figured out when they need to stand and when they need to kneel....we've all been to weddings or funerals when it is easy to pick out the people who don't regularly attend or have never been exposed to a service other than theirs. 

The fact that Paul and I get up, every week, and attend a formal service is an outward example of our faith and has made an impression on our kids. Every Sunday, they get up and ready themselves for Church. One is in a dress and pretty shoes and one is usually in jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers .. but there is never an argument about having to go. They grab their bibles and money for the collection and head out. 

I'm so proud of their commitment to their faith at an early age. It will serve them well. 

#4 - I am thankful that our family has two churches

11.03.2018

One - Two - Three, Thirty Days of Thanks

For years I have been spending my November focusing on gratitude. I try to post daily(emphasis on try) and I'm already behind. Here's what I was most grateful for on day 1, 2, and 3

#1 - I am thankful for takeout 

Tonight Kristen had cross country practice until 6pm and then I wanted to go to North Stonington and spend a little time with parents since they are heading south. I didn't have time to cook and pack something up, Kristen's practice had us on the road a little later than I wanted to be. McDonald's and Irene's to the rescue. We've dramatically cut back on the eating out in the last 6 months -- mostly because it adds up .. FAST. Sometimes it is a good solution to a hectic schedule. 

#1 - I am thankful for takeout 


#2 - I am thankful for Alexa

Last Christmas, I bought Paul an Amazon Echo. Let me just say that when he opened it, there was NOT a ton of enthusiasm. The girls and I set it up over Christmas break and we started teaching him how to use it. I personally find the ability to "add things to the shopping list" life changing. No more forgotten grocery lists on the counter, or forgetting to add butter to the list when you put the last stick in the butter dish. On more than one occasion, I caught him firing off musical selection requests to Alexa like she was a DJ. It is kind of amazing how good the sound is out of that thing ... Paul enjoys the music so much when he is doing the dishes that we bought him a year of Amazon music for Father's Day -- there is no song that she cannot play for us. 

There was that one time that I found some questionable items on the shopping list ... when he was questioned I got "I was trying to see if she would actually add anything I said to the shopping list" ... I think Paul and Alexa are friends now!

#2 - I am thankful for Alexa

#3 - I am thankful for my Honda Accord

A few years ago we were able to pick up a slightly used Honda Accord. We paid cash - we HATE having car payments. My mom, bless her heart, drove it home all the way from North Carolina for us! In 2015, I started working outside of the house and had to commute daily -- not far -- but longer than I had been commuting. I'll admit, I was a little sad to hand off my Pathfinder to Paul and take the more fuel efficient car since I had the longer drive. I fell in love with it. It has a great sound system, the interior is spotless, it is the prettiest metallic blue, it has great pickup and it is FAST .. not that I drive fast or anything. This week - I went back and forth to work, pick up and drop off at cross country practice, to dance and back - twice - to North Stonington and back and then to Griswold to meet friends for dinner .. all on 1 tank of gas ... Blazin' Blue is the BEST ... I don't miss that Pathfinder at all anymore. 

#3 - I am thankful for my Honda Accord


9.05.2018

Dear Mom and Dad




Today is my parents 48th wedding anniversary. Forty-eight years, it is a little hard for me to process the enormity of that. I've been thinking a lot about them today, glimpses of little memories here and there brought more than a handful of smiles to my face. I've had very few opportunities to speak publicly about them and share with others the really impressive people they are. The ironic thing is, I don't think they see themselves as impressive at all and, truth be told, I think they are surprised when people are not like them - when they behave in ways that do not demonstrate kindness, generosity, or helpfulness.

Eight years ago, my parents were celebrating their 40th anniversary and their respective retirements. We organized a small celebration and I had a chance to share with the attendees how amazing these two people are.

I re-read what I said that night when it was my turn at the podium and rather than reinvent the wheel, I'm sharing those words from 2010 again here, tonight, because those words still ring true.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I was going to say to all of you tonight about our parents. There is so much that could be said, they truly are 2 of the most exceptional people I know. I could talk about when my Mom first brought my Dad to a family gathering at her house and how her Mother was slightly annoyed. I could talk about my Dad’s tour of duty in the Army or my Mom having the distinction of being the first woman on an ambulance crew in Mystic. I could go on about how my dad worked all day long and then went to school at night to get his Associates’ Degree. I could talk about how while that was difficult for him to juggle and balance, that the person who sacrificed just as much if not more during that time was my Mom. While all that is quite impressive, it just didn’t seem like it was enough.

A few nights ago, I asked my husband what I should say about my parents here tonight. He barely thought before he answered simply “they always put everyone else first” - - - He was exactly right – whether it was coaching a team, leading a troop, devoting countless hours to the North Stonington Ambulance Association, teaching the babysitter course, acting as the Chairman of the School Building Committee, they always seemed to find the time when no one else did. Their lives have been committed to service.

I think if you asked my parents what their biggest accomplishment is, what the one thing they are most proud of is they wouldn’t mention any of those achievements I listed. I think they would say it was their family. They taught us to be honest, trust-worthy, generous, and thoughtful. To help out when you can, in whatever way you can. We learned by example that if you worked hard and did your best good things will come to you. My parents believe that a family is, above all other things, loyal to each other. A family supports each other in good times and during the struggles, that is what has been instilled in us.
My sister and I attend a church where every week the service starts with the proclamation “Whoever you are and where ever you are on life’s journey you are always welcome here.” That could easily be painted on a plaque and hung on the wall at 11 Mains Crossing Rd because that was the way my parents built their house - the house that built Heather, Heidi and David and all the other friends and family that were welcomed inside those walls.


I speak for our family when I say that we are privileged to call these two people Mom and Dad. Please join us in congratulating them on their distinguished careers and 40 years of marriage.

2.14.2018

My Funny Valentine


I am the luckiest girl in the world ...... at the times when the water has been deep and dark ... you're right there




1.08.2018

Just another day

Today is our 13th anniversary. My husband is in Atlantic City, NJ .... with six other guys ... at this point in the day - he has probably lost a good chunk of change and has had too many beers. I'm sitting at the dining room table, finishing off a glass of wine, and singing along to the Thomas Rhett shuffle on the Amazon Echo. 

Earlier tonight, the girls and I had dinner with someone who started out as a friend but has become an important part of our family. She arrived with ice cream, flowers and genuine appreciation to be sharing a meal with us. She and her husband were at our wedding and 13 years later, I still think of that moment in the receiving line when she took me by the elbows and said with the biggest smile "You look radiant" ... the photographer even caught that exchange and that moment meant so much to me that it is one of the candids in our big wedding album. Every time I see it, I hear her voice in my head saying that. 

Some wives might be annoyed that their husband planned his annual guys trip to coincide with their anniversary, but it is just another day. That probably sounds bad but here's what I mean. Paul shows up - he's present. Every. Stinking. Day. Sometimes, the days really stink too. 

We weren't high school sweethearts. We weren't first loves. We were older when we met. One fresh off a divorce, one still trying to finalize one. We were angry. We were bruised. We were battered, limping along. Don't get me wrong, we were both getting by with help from family and friends, but we had some work to do.

There were people who surprised us - the people who said things fairly early in our relationship like "you two have a lot of baggage, you should go to therapy", "do you have anything in common?", "He's a little more blue collar than you date" and my personal favorite - the people who took up residence in our Ex's camp. 

I joked around our 10th anniversary that I was pretty sure there were some side comments or bets at our wedding on "how long this would last" and that I was thinking we probably should get the pot at that point. 

I've been re-reading a lot of old posts about Paul and us this last week ... last year on FB I posted this:

"You are fiercely loyal and protective. Your faith in me never wavers ..... You are strong and steady and you continue to make every dream I dream come true. Happy Anniversary - love you and the life we've built more than you'll ever know."

All that still applies today - in bold, italics, underline ... we have had the most amazing year and much of that is because we have come to an understanding on the importance of us, that it is our number one priority. It has been a year that was lived with much intention and the results have taken my breath away. 

Years ago, I was sharing with a high school friend that I had reconnected with on FB how finding Paul changed my life and she posted this on my wall with something along the lines "Like this???"



Yup, pretty much. 

We would have made it if we hadn't had the good fortune to be introduced by mutual friends, but we are definitely #bettertogether.

So it doesn't matter to me that I was in CT and he is in NJ tonight ...because every day is a celebration.