It Really is Just a Number

Ten years ago this week I turned 30.  On Thursday, another birthday - you do the math. The number doesn't bother me like it did someone else who lives here [Paul] when it was their big day, it really is just a number. While the whole age thing doesn't bother me, it has gotten me thinking about the last 10 years a lot.

Ten years ago, I was divorced, living back home with my parents, up to my ears in debt, and wasn't really sure what my next move was.  All that being said, it still felt like it would be OK.  Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like it was me against the world .. I had the most supportive, loyal, generous friends and family you could ask for.  There was always an invitation to keep me busy, distracted and focused on moving forward. 

Then there was a chance meeting at a friend's 40th Birthday party ... which, come to find out, really wasn't much left to chance at all. Thanks Tom & Addie. It seemed like months later, but finally a first date. Then there was another and another.  Months later living together, then an engagement, a wedding, and a daughter.  Then almost 3 years later another daughter.  Promotions and additional responsibilities at work, friends moving on and out of our lives to be replaced with new friends. Ten years of mutual admiration and respect for each other.

When I got divorced, I always saw myself remarried, with kids, living my own little white picket fence version of the American Dream. The last 10 years were not always roses and lollipops and we have literally taken down every last piece of white picket fence in this yard (picket fences are overrated and a complete pain in the a$$ to paint.)  I can tell you the life that is my life today, at 40, is sweeter than it was at 20 or 30.   I never could have dreamed it would be this good.  In some strange kind of way, I am thankful for every tear, heartache, and experience that led me to the person I've become.   

May the journey to 50 be as rewarding.

Be Nice to Me ....

I don't care if your black or white, gay or straight, fat or skinny, short or tall, rich or poor. Be nice to me and I'll be nice to you ... its just that simple.

I stole that from a post on my Facebook News Feed and I'm sure that I've seen it posted there before but tonight, for some reason, it struck me.  It is sort of a casual version of "The Golden Rule", you know the one your parents repeated over and over again when you were a kid. It really doesn't stop applying when you turn 18 or when you graduate from college, one might argue that it is actually the most important thing you can remember as an adult.  Ever wonder what the world would be like if we were all just a little bit nicer? If people weren't so judgemental, close minded, or self centered?  Wasn't it John Lennon who said "Imagine"?

Be nice to me and I'll be nice to you ... it really IS that simple.

Here comes Peter Cottentail

 

We loved our visit with the Easter Bunny this year.  Kristen was happy with Brooke as insulation.  The girls picked out their outfits, complete with their favorite shoes.

Sometimes I HATE being the Mom ....

Paul loves being the father of two daughters .... seriously he does.  Brooke was instantly Daddy's Little Girl.  She loves to be outside with him, grocery shopping, or on one of their famous Saturday morning dump runs. When Kristen was born and Dr. Amdur declared "It's a girl" Paul literally fist pumped and said "Yesssssssssssss"  outloud.

We have a million pictures that look like this ....

I thought maybe I had a chance with Kristen.  For a good long time she was mine .. a total Momma's girl but I am starting to doubt my standing in the pecking order around here.  She is going through this thing where we all have to "be" someone.  If we are watching Tangled, Kristen is Maximus, Paul is Flynn Rider, Brooke is Rapunzel and I, I am Mother Gothiel .... hmmm gorgeous horsey, handsome prince, beautiful princess and Mother Gothiel.  OK, even if you have not seen Tangled 950 times like we have, do we think anyone named "Gothiel" - is sweet and pretty .... probably not.  Hmmm, maybe she is trying to tell me something?  When we watch Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses - Kristen (our animal lover) is Twila the Cat, Brooke is Genevive (the Princess played by Barbie) and Daddy is Derek the handsome man who routinely delivers the princesses new shoes.  I know you are all wondering what beautiful princess I am, I mean there are ELEVEN others to chose from.  No, I am Rowena, Ro. Wen. A. I am starting to sense a pattern.

Paul loves being the father of two daughters, well he does right now, check back with me when they are 12 and 14. Maybe he will have been relegated to Gargamel or Lord Farquar.  A girl can dream - right?

Good Fortune

I take the health of my children for granted ... I try not to but I do. I try hard to remind myself their health is a blessing BUT ... I get busy working, cleaning, helping with homework, living and it slips down the list of things for which I express gratitude for. 

I know that not every family has this luxury. 

The Dziekan Family lives the flip side of the coin.   Almost 12 years ago, at just a few weeks old their daughter, Brianna, had her first open heart surgery.

She would endure 3 more - the most recent in the Spring of 2011.  Sprinkled in between 3 Cardiac Catheterizations and countless other procedures and tests. 

Things that I don't give another thought are challenges.  It took some doing to find an orthodontist who would take her as a patient because of her complicated health history.  If Obama's Health Care plan  gets repealed she will, no doubt, max out her lifetime medical benefit before she turns 18.  Other injuries that most kids rebound quickly from don't heal properly.  Activity has to be monitored so she doesn't over exert herself.  She has to be mindful to keep hydrated. Then there are the migraines, the pain, the insomnia .... it is an awful lot for a kid to process.  As her mom, Carol, is constantly researching new advances in treatments in addition to networking with organizations that provide support to special kids like Brianna.  Oh and did I mention that Brianna has a sister and 2 brothers ... something else Carol has to manage, the rest of the family.

There will be additional surgeries.  There are bills. There is uncertainty.  

On March 17, a benefit is being held in Brianna's honor.  The hope is that the funds raised from ticket sales, raffles and other donations will make a dent in the expenses that have amassed over the last 12 years and that there might be some to cover the next surgery.  Tickets are still available and raffle items still being are still accepted.

You can read more about Brianna at her Carepages Website

If you need tickets, have something for the raffle, or would like to make a cash donation, please contact Brianna's Mom, Carol at caroldziekan@yahoo.com or her Aunt Laurie at lsavino@charter.net

Good fortune, yes, we at Romanskiville are so thankful for it.

Best Valentine's Day Present ....EVER

 On Sunday, Feb 12 we saw Shrek the Musical at the Garde in New London.  I should tell you all that my family has a love affair with Shrek.  We have all four dvds, yes, there are FOUR.  We love it so much that the girls and I bought the The Final Chapter for Paul for Christmas and he bought it for us... thankfully the grown-ups in this house are pretty good with receipts.

We parked and made our way to the theater and collected our tickets.  We asked Brooke to read what the ticket said .. that was our big reveal.  "Shrek the ...." "Musical" (We help her out on that word) and we explain that we are going to see real people perform the story -- she seems intrigued and is filled with anticipation.  Kristen says "Shrek the Musical" and gets a big smile on her face.

We get down to business and purchase our souvenirs ... Princess Fiona ears and crown for Brooke.

And a Gingy - the Gingerbread Puppet for Kristen (editors note - the kid now HATES getting her picture taken and generally protests. The face = annoyed not scared to death... really!)

We take our seats and the show starts.  Kristen sits with her eyes and her mouth wide open in awe.  Brooke sings and dances in her seat the whole time.  At intermission, Kristen declares "It is SO awesome."

As we are backing out of our parking spot in the garage she says "It was so, SO good"

Today they are telling anyone who will listen to them about the show and the "best Valentines Day present EVER"

You can buy your kids expensive toys, clothes, and things and they love them and use them and then forget them.  When you invest in an experience, you give them a memory.  I'll cherish the time we spent together yesterday and look forward to the next big thing.

100th Day

Today was the 100th day of school.  Apparently it is a bit of a holiday.  I don't remember it being a big deal when I was in elementary school, but if you ask my dear daughter that was "a long, long time ago." Brooke was filled with anticipation for the whole thing and could not stop talking about the crown she would make and place 100 stickers on as part of the day.  I arrived at daycare this afternoon and she was at the table proudly wearing that crown.  When we arrived home, she promptly stripped down and donned her Rapunzel dress up garb to complete the outfit.

I'm not really sure I understand all the hoopla behind "100th day" ... but hey it didn't require gifts, goodie bags or mean any time off from school.  Yay!  I am just thrilled she loves school and is excelling. I visibly smile each morning that she wakes and eagerly dresses in some form of blue and khaki without any fighting, yelling, threatening, etc ... I know this WILL change.  For now, I am going to ride the wave.


Secretly, I was rejoicing inside that there was a note in the backpack that "Collections of 100 things" were optional and NOT required.  Thank you Mrs. Bosse, we working parents salute you !!!