One Week Later

So it has been a full week since I was told that after Friday, I no longer had a job.  It has been interesting to say the least .. I am not in any sort of rhythm, I have no routine,  and I still have no job.

Last Thursday at 8:00 was the dreaded phone call, at 9:00 I had a dentist appointment ... to get a filling.  Seriously, you can't make this stuff up. 

That afternoon I picked up the girls at daycare and Brooke was running around the car all flustered, something about not being able to get to her side. I was not in the mood for the drama, told her to give me her backpack and get in the car. I added that I had a stressful day and just wanted to go home. 

" I have had a particularly stressful day myself. I owe a recess for NO reason, I wasn't doing ANYthing that I should have to OWE recess for" Brooke tells me.  Was she seriously thinking her day was worse than mine? "Whatever, get in the damn car" I think to myself. 

Friday, off they all went and I spent the day changing emails, letting people know the scoop, and poking around on the internet for jobs.  I showered and wrapped a present for my friend who recently turned 60.  I picked up the girls, met a friend at the house, she jumped into my car and we dropped the girls with my mother in law. My friend and I joined 2 other friends and off we went to a nice restaurant to celebrate that birthday. I thought about cancelling, but figured I could use the company and the wine. 

Saturday was the usual and Sunday the girls and I headed to church. Attendance was low after Easter the week before and there were moments dotted throughout the service when I was certain that Rev Bill was speaking directly to me. We sang "He Lives"... that hymn always gets me and [didn't we just sing that last week?] A few Kleenex and prayers later it was time to go home. 

That night was bowling with 2 of our closest friends.  There were cocktails, good company and laughter. We had fun and for a few hours I forgot. 

Monday I did all the laundry .. I kid you not .. it took ALL day.  I did some dishes, planned out dinner, took Kristen to the Dr, picked up some groceries and her Rx, watched some TV and found an old modem that I thought I might be able to replace my mother in law's broken one with. I meant to go over there to try that .... never happened .. there's always Tuesday.  I did finish an online profile for an IT recruiting firm and applied for another job online. Paul took my laptop to UPS that morning and he 'threw the box on the belt in disgust" ... he IS my true defender.

Tuesday, I made arrangements to meet a friend for lunch and she agreed to take my badge back to the office so I could avoid going inside. I failed at the modem replacement .. hmmm why do I keep this broken crap??? Called AT&T, upgraded internet install appointment scheduled for Thursday. 

Wednesday, I had nothing planned, no where I had to be, nothing I had to do, that was not a good thing. I attacked unemployment .. I mean the money isn't going to magically appear. You can apply online now and I did.  My "approval" is pending the outcome of a hearing in 2 weeks and because I made more money than Paul, I can claim the girls as dependents and get $30 more a week - had I not qualified for that - I would bring home less than $500 a week.  Hello reality check .... The combination of no real agenda, compounded by the unemployment adventure and the cold, wet, depressing weather meant that I laid on the couch for a good part of the day watching shows off the DVR in my PJs under a blanket.  Did I mention the dog seems to be sick too?  I think he might be channeling my depression. We laid there together, with no ambition to get up, just looking at each other.  I did manage to get the girls on time and Brooke made it through dance. Paul and I ate frozen pizza and watched Survivor and I went to bed at like 10:15. 

Today was better, I had plans. I met my friend, Amber, for breakfast and we caught up. It had been TOO long, we've both been overcome by events. She had some points about my experiences that I had overlooked and reminded me why it would be important to use in an interview. We spent a good part of the morning talking about sad stuff - the unexpected loss of her husband in the fall and my unemployment - but that 90 minutes this morning lifted my spirits, I have missed her and her wit.  Later that morning, another visit complete with a bottle of wine ... don't you love the name ????

The dog is still moping around the house so I call the vet .. I get voicemail and hang up .. they never call me back when I leave a message. I pack up a bag of things to do and head for my Mother in Law's to hangout for the new internet install.  I call the vet again and they have a 4:00 today or 9:00 am tomorrow.  I take the Friday since the AT&T guy hasn't called yet.  He arrives at 2:30 and about 70 mins later she has new phone line run, smoking fast internet and VoIP phone complete with Caller ID and I got 1/3 of the new address book that I've had for like 18 months filled in. [Yes, I still have a PAPER address book, I'm a sucker for pretty paper] 

I pack up and head out and decide I'm going to try to sneak in at the vet. I'm successful and not only am I happy with the diagnosis .. it is probably just Lyme ... the bill is under $100. A big shout out to some of the BEST neighbors who went and picked up the girls from daycare .. even though THEIR son was home sick AND fed them dinner. After pickup, one kid got a bath, one got her writing assignment finished and the dog is on the road to recovery.  He ate for the first time in 36 hours. 

Tomorrow I have plans too, some errands and then another lunch date. I'm hoping it gets easier on my brain, all this stuff, I'm hoping I get into a groove and don't lose another whole day to the couch/tv/self pity ... I hope, I guess that is better than being hopeless.