Another Lesson Learned

So I have a job again, hopefully you didn't miss my recent post making the big announcement. I love it ... I love getting up early, getting dressed in work clothes, and driving to the office. I love that every day is different and there is still so much to learn. 

I fully recognized that when I got laid off it was a blow to my ego. It was stressful and I lost sleep. I have been working since I was 15 years old. I didn't remember how to "not work". I was very aware that it was going to be difficult to pay for things if the not working thing carried on too long. 

I did not recognize .. until these last few weeks ... the full impact of that stress. 

I yelled louder and more often. 

I was impatient, mostly with the people who were the most patient with me.

My fuse was short and easily ignited.

At times, I was ruled by apathy.

I seemed to lose the ability to manage time.

Some days I failed to find joy .. in anything.

I'm sort of embarrassed to admit all the ways this affected me. I mean it was a job for Pete's sake but stress, it can be debilitating. 

The last week we've started building our new normal ... that includes everyone having to pitch in a bit more, especially in the morning, so we all get out the door when we need to. It has gone off without much of a hitch ... 

As the stress level started to drop, I noticed other changes too.

The voices are getting softer. There is less yelling. There is more patience. There is motivation. Time is being effectively managed. 

There is JOY. 

I learned so much from this experience [so much that I NEVER need to experience it again]. 

Everything happens for a reason and I think I will continue to find these "Lessons Learned" for a long time to come.

Every Thing Happens for a Reason....

Nine months ago, I lost my job. You all know that and so many of you have offered support, laughs, diversions, or wine.  I appreciated it all .. especially the wine!

The one thing that I heard more than once was "everything happens for a reason"

I do wholeheartedly believe that but let me tell you .. there are days when you do NOT. Some days it is easier to "believe" more than others. There are days when your faith wanes. You worry more than you ever have. You get through those days with laughter, sarcasm, tears and, yes, sometimes with wine. 

I say all this because I got a JOB ... a job that I interviewed for in the Fall and didn't get. 

Yesterday was supposed to be my first day, false start thanks to another foot of snow. So off I went this morning ...

Paperwork to HR ... check

Staff ID Card .... check

Parking pass ... check

Laptop set up .. check

Bathroom and Cafe located ... check

I realized sometime in the last 24 hours that a great amount of weight had been lifted from shoulders ... one that I am not sure I could fully appreciate until it was gone. 

I realized something else too, had I been offered the job in September .. I would have missed so many other opportunities.  

In October, I was sick most of the month and not having a job allowed me to really rest and recover. I started consulting at the girls' school and helped to develop and run an enrichment program. I started co-teaching Technology Integration at another Magnet School. I have gained so much insight into what goes on in the classroom. I have tied a million shoelaces, zipped a bunch of coats, walked at least a dozen kindergartners to their classrooms when they get to school late. I've covered lunch duty, bus duty, and hallway duty. I've had too many hugs, high fives, and "Hi Mrs. Romanski"'s to count. 

If I had been offered the job in September, I would have missed all THAT. 

Everything really does happen for a reason ......

Ten Long, Wonderful Years ... No, Really, They Have Been Awesome

Have you ever heard a couple say they have been married X number of long, wonderful years .. long for me, wonderful for him? 

Today is our wedding anniversary, our TENTH wedding anniversary. 

I spent some time last night re-reading previous posts that I've written on or about this day. The one from last year was my favorite, you should definitely read it .. it is some of my best work.  Click HERE to take a peek. 

I am so thankful that mutual friends thought to introduce us 13 years ago. We are supposed to be together. I'm supposed to be with him, he's supposed to be with me. 

He's quiet, I'm chatty. 

I hate to take out the garbage, he has a whole "trash efficiency system".

I'm good with electronics, computers and tablets. He's good with tractors, and plows, hedge trimmers, etc. 

I like to cook, he likes to eat. There is that whole not liking cheese thing but let's be realistic .. no one is perfect.

He does all the goofy stuff the girls and I ask of him and he does it smiling.

Given all the stuff that we both dealt with "before", I never really imagined marriage or my life would ever turn out THIS GOOD.

We're a little older, a little heavier, a little more tired, and sporting more grey than we were 10 years ago but all the pain from "before" is such a distant memory. 

For us it has just been 10 wonderful years.

 

I Don't Dance ...

There is this country song "I Don't Dance"

The chorus goes like this ....

"No, I don't dance, But here I am

Spinning you around and around in circles

It ain't my style, but I don't care

I'd do anything with you, anywhere

Yes, you got me in the palm of your hand, girl

Cause I don't dance"

That is my husband ... happy to sit at a table, or lean on the bar and listen and watch.  

When we met he told me he had no intention of getting married again....

He never considered having children.....never mind cutting the cord when they were born

I'm pretty certain he didn't see himself on my arm at my sister's wedding after only a month of dating ....

He never pictured himself walking laps around a HS track at 2 am, in the pouring rain for the Relay For Life. 

I'm pretty sure he didn't see himself in a hotel pool in the middle of the winter teaching his girls to swim

He never dreamed of dressing his daughters in tights and leotards and buckling up their tap shoes

I'm betting he never imagined how he would beam at their dance recital and sit on the edge of his seat for the whole THREE hours

I wonder if he still shakes his head in amazement of the house we designed and built, together, two years ago

I doubt he ever imagined that 3 women could ever fill his heart the way we have ... and that we would be able to get him to do "anything, anywhere"  or that he would "spin us around and around"

We sure are glad that he has decided that he'll dance and that we hold him in the palms of our hands

Another Year in the Books

Today is Paul's birthday .. closer to 50 than 40 ... he'll be thrilled that I shared that with all of you.

Despite having to work and it being bitterly cold .. he seemed to have a pretty good day.

The girls were so proud of the cards and gifts they made at Jeanne's house ...

A remote holder (ironically we were frantically searching for a remote this morning) and a dish for his nightstand for  "pocket stuff" .. Chapstick, change, cash, etc. 

There was a hot dinner when he got home and more presents. A CD he'd been wanting, some other little odds and ends. 

After tucking in the girls, he headed out to the lanes to roll a few strings with a friend.  I'm sure there will be a cocktail or 2 involved too. 

Might sound boring but I assure you ... he is thrilled with this day

Happy Birthday Babe! Here's to a million more!

Dear Self ...

This year is going to be a year of forward progress ... I'm not sure how it will shake out but I built this whole big plan in my head for 2014 and it just sort of took on a life of its own (and not in a good way)

So no big master plan ... high level plans and ideals ... we're going to right the ship and chart a new course .. one day, one issue, one destination at a time.

The best part of Jan 1 is you can draw that proverbial line in the sand, you get to press the reset button and leave the past in the past.  

This year isn't so hard for me to leave the past behind ..... focusing on all the "Ups" that were dotted throughout 2014 and leaving behind the "Downs"

This is going to be our year!

Cheers to 2015

A Tale of Two Cities ....

It was the best of times,

it was the worst of times,

it was the age of wisdom,

it was the age of foolishness,

it was the epoch of belief,

it was the epoch of incredulity,

it was the season of Light,

it was the season of Darkness, 

it was the spring of hope,

it was the winter of despair,

we had everything before us,

we had nothing before us

-Dickens

2014 was not the year that I anticipated but I have learned so much .....

Faith is powerful ... if you have it to believe in, hold on to, you can face more than you ever imagined

Your job does not define you, you are still the smart, loyal, productive person whether you collect a paycheck or not

Some people are self centered. You can go out of your way to be generous, thoughtful and kind but you do not have the power to change them. Be generous, thoughtful and kind anyway.

There are very few material things that I need ... we continue to get by with less money, less takeout, and less stuff. 

Your friends are incredibly supportive if you let them be ... if you are transparent and share your fears and anxiety .. you will be comforted 

Your children are unbelievably perceptive, they are affected by the vibe you give off and you need to be very aware.  

There is always someone who is facing a struggle or situation that is so much harder than yours

I seriously have the best, most amazing husband ever ... I knew that already but the last 8 months the man has been a rock. He has wiped every tear, calmed every fear, cheered the loudest. He has set the tone and kept The Core Four on an even keel during these uncertain times. 

Sometimes the winter of despair must come before the spring of hope .... I am really hoping that our Spring of Hope is just around the corner!

"Out with the old and in with the new!"