Reflecting

 At the end of January, I became co-moderator of my church. I actually kind of chuckle when I say that because a few months before, I had made a conscious decision to step away from another board that I chaired. I had decided to focus on some things that were important to me personally and to be "around" the house more - minding the store if you will.

Then not 1 but 2 people asked me if I would take this on. At first, I immediately declined, but then I found myself randomly considering it. So, the Reader's Digest version is that I'm co-moderator with another parishioner for the year.

I don't really keep my faith a secret, I am pretty open that I attend church regularly, that I pray, and that I believe in a higher power. In my case, God. My faith and belief in Him have gotten me through some incredibly painful and trying times. However, I swear a little, ok, a lot. I even have a mug that says "I love Jesus, but I cuss a little" 

I sometimes gossip, I am sometimes selfish, and I am sometimes jealous. 

All of those imperfections did make me think that maybe I wasn't the right person for the job. I reflected on this for some time, not really sure I was good enough to be in that position. Then I had a little nudge, maybe those imperfections make me the absolute right person for the job.

One of my responsibilities is to write a letter for our monthly newsletter. I'm sharing my April letter below. If you're observing Lent and even if you aren't, I hope you find the power of reflection.

Dear Friends,

Lent has arrived and Easter is fast approaching. I’m looking forward to seeing the sanctuary filled with lilies, daffodils and tulips. The warmer weather and the longer days bring a smile to my face. I’m delighted that we will be able to host a Sonrise bake sale this year and that we will soon revive our legendary coffee hours.

I’ve been sort of torturing myself trying to figure out what to say in this month's letter - I wanted to quote scripture and speak philosophically about Lent. I even Googled “What is Lent?” Spoiler alert - this is not my superpower. Personally, I rely on my friends - Margo and May - to have the most perfect reference to scripture or words of encouragement when I need it. It is their superpower for sure.

I will tell you what I have been doing during Lent - reflecting. Especially when I am sitting in my pew on a Sunday. While I wait for our service to start - I am reflecting. What have I done that week to serve? Were there moments when I was not my best self? Was I kind? Was I generous when I had an opportunity? Was I grateful? Sometimes that reflection makes me smile - I have been a good and faithful servant. Sometimes that reflection reminds me that God is Good and I get another chance to do better.

I hope that you are finding a meaningful way to mark this time leading to a joyous Easter Sunday.

Keep the Faith, see you in church!

In Service,

Heather Romanski

#WakeUp100 

22/100

Ice Ice, Baby

 

About 3 weeks ago, I pulled open the freezer to make our pre-workout drinks at 5 am to find the ice maker drawer noticeably lacking. There was some, but it was evident that it hadn't been making ice since sometime the day before. 

I flipped the bar to the "off" position and added that to my list of things to figure out. 

I was surprised how many times in a day I was looking for ice cubes. I was about to send Paul to the grocery store to buy a bag of ice when he reminded me that we had a countertop ice maker in the basement. Brilliant!! He dragged it up for me and I was back in business -- sort of. Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled to have it, but that machine requires more attention than the one in freezer. Filtering our well water to protect the inside components, having to empty the cube hopper when it was full, and remembering to turn it off when we were gone all day - all things not required by the one in the freezer.

Paul and I spent the better part of a Saturday googling and trying to figure out where the filter was - I was sure we hadn't changed that in way too long and that seemed like the easiest and cheapest thing to try first. We pulled that sucker out from the wall and started looking. We danced around if for a few hours when we decided to walk away for a bit and run to the grocery store. 

We returned and tried for another 45 minutes, uttering a handful of 4 letter words before we decided that we were quitting for that day and pushed it back into place. At least we ran the vacuum when we had it out from the wall, so all was not lost. 

About a week later, my parents came for dinner. They were getting ready to head out when, in passing, I mentioned that our ice maker wasn't working. I shared my theory on the filter. My dad put his coat down and my mom took her seat at the peninsula again. He and Paul pulled the fridge out from the wall and Dad went to work. 

If you don't know my dad - he is the quintessential handy man. He is a skilled carpenter and electrician. He understands how so many things work and he always has a trick up his sleeve for when you encounter a hiccup. He also does things "the right way" - not necessarily the fastest or cheapest - but quality work. 

After about 30 minutes of checking things out and asking Paul for the vacuum, a good screwdriver, a flashlight and a wet rag... he made an announcement. 

"I do not believe that this model has a water filter" and then recommended that we push it back to its usual location. 

"Have you called Whirlpool?" 

"Not yet dad" 

"I think I will have some time on Monday. Please write the model number down for me." 

Fast forward to Monday...

I receive a text message "Good time to call?"

"Yes, please call my office phone" 

"I called Whirlpool - it only took me about 30 minutes on hold until I could talk to someone. I thought that was pretty good. The tech confirmed you do not have a water filter, so that is not the issue. He said it is 1 of 3 things - frozen water line, ice maker needs a reset, or its shot."

I think you should try resetting the unit first. There is a procedure to do this, and it is very specific. You have to do it in the exact order I tell you. I will text you and Paul so you both have the information" 

"OK, thanks for doing that. I know it's a pain to sit on hold. I will do that and let you know" 

He sent the 2.5 screens of instructions to Paul and I via text, as promised that day. This was a Monday. Tuesday he texted -- had I tried the reset yet? I had not -- but I promised that I would soon. 

Wednesday, we had nothing going on when I got home from work and dinner was already in the crockpot. I pulled up the text and started the process.  Step 1 - check, Step 2 - check. The second step was to kill the power to the fridge and I quote "for a minimum of 7 minutes." I did that, checked my watch and then headed to pick Kristen up from an afterschool program. She was not ready when I got there so the fridge was off for more like 30 minutes, so I was in good shape.

I turned it back on and waited. When we headed to bed, there did not seem to be any new ice in the bucket. Maybe it takes a little time? 

Another day or two - nothing. I let my dad know and said I would google "frozen ice maker water lines" and see if we could handle that. He chuckled and told me to let him know how I made out. 

Then, early last week, I was making those water bottles again. I pulled open the freezer and grabbed a handful of ice. I'd been dumping the counter ice maker cubes into the bin. I immediately noticed that there were 2 different shaped cubes.

"I think the ice maker is working?" I said to Paul

Since there were only a few of that shape in there, we held off celebrating until we could be sure it was not a fluke. 

I'm happy to report that the ice maker is running like a champ and Doc Holliday (my dad) has once again, saved the day in Romanskiville. 

He's a keeper for sure! 

#WakeUp100

21/100

Ebb and Flow

 

It happened today, I stopped at a stop sign, glanced over, saw a mini excavator and without even thinking, I looked to see if it was him. 

Of course, it wasn't him. He's been gone since December 28 and most days I know that, but today - just for a moment - I forgot.

In early December 2021, my uncle took a serious fall off a piece of heavy machinery. He was hospitalized, his condition was up and down, until he was gone. 

I wrote about him in early January in a post entitled Ordinary Joe, it was the first time I had posted since November 2021. It was the only post in January. 

I had been noticing the activity on that piece of property for a week or so. I would immediately think of him and similar work that he had done with Stephen and David's help at my house. Every day I pass the spot there is a little more work done. I don't recall actually seeing anyone there working until today. 

I left work a little after 4 and started the ride home. I always avoid Route 32 by going "the back way." I slowed to stop at the stop sign before making the right and the scoop on the little white excavator moved. As I turned to look, for a split-second, I thought it was him. 

Crazy, I know! 

I don't think he had a white excavator, but the man in the seat was built like him, dressed similarly and then, then my brain caught up with my heart. I looked closer and his face didn't look familiar at all. 

Eyes filled with tears, deep exhale, and reality sets in. 

"Grief is tricky" - that's what I said the entire month of January as people would ask how he was, and I would say he was gone.

Grief is like the ocean, and we keep learning how to swim.

#WakeUp100

20/100

Don't Slash all Four Tires

 

I did not write yesterday. I made it 18 days in a row - writing and posting - but I just did not have it in me yesterday. 

The week had been kind of busy and were out later than usual on a Friday night. My Saturday morning walking partner is in FL, so I took advantage of that and stayed in bed until 8am! Paul had an appointment to get 2 wisdom teeth pulled. We were up and getting ready for the day when the phone rang, and they called to ask him to come early ??? 

Paul got home from there and then headed out to practice bowling with Kristen. Their new routine on Saturday mornings. 

We had a 1st birthday party, grocery shopping, the Ridgeline needed a new battery, and before we knew it, we were home after 6pm. 

Then you have to put all that stuff away from Aldi and Walmart. Then the people need to eat. We decided to watch Survivor while we ate dinner - which ended up being a bit of a smorgasbord. Then there is the clean-up!

It was about then I realized, there had been NO writing and there was now absolutely no ambition. 

Is this where it ends? I made it 18 out of the 100 and that's all she wrote? [See what I did there] 

Honestly the me of 4 years ago, might have just stopped. Slashing the proverbial remaining 3 tires because the one went flat. However, the me of today - is writing - post #19 on day 20. 

I've learned so much about perspective these last 4 years. A healthy investment in some personal development courses and a global pandemic will do that for you. 

I've spent a lot of time encouraging my girls to try and try and try again. Why wouldn't I take my own advice. It would have been amazing to write every. single. day for 100 days straight but for someone who is doing so many things and responsible for so much, I'm not sure it was practical. 

So here I am, demonstrating perseverance. Writing post 19 on Day 20.

I hope you looked for a post yesterday and were a tiny bit disappointed that you couldn't find one. I promise, it won't happen often. 

I hope you're glad that you found this one today. 

#WakeUp100

19/100

Gimme Back that Filet o Fish

About 12 years ago there was this McDonalds commercial that ran during lent. When you were lucky enough to see it, you were singing that song All. Day. LONG. 

Please enjoy:

We were lucky enough to have our own movie star .....

This will probably be incorporated into her graduation or wedding video someday because I just CANNOT get enough of her little voice. 

You're welcome!

#WakeUp100 

18/100

You're Welcome

 

In the event that you were not aware, Cadbury Mini Eggs are in the stores. Walmart had this convenient supersize bag in stock when I was there a few Saturdays ago.

These are one of my favorites, and, unlike other candies, there does not seem to be a "flavor" for every season. I only ever see them this time of year. 

I was so grateful that when I bought this bag, there were no children accompanying me on my shopping trip. I declined their help to unpack the bags when I got home. 

Nine of these babies are 160 calories (a decent snack or treat) and 9 at once is plenty. OK, who am I kidding? I could eat a couple of handfuls of these things at once, but I'm going to be 50 in May and weight doesn't drop off that easily - so 9 it is. 

I am not sharing. 

The bag is hidden. 

Do NOT tell on me. I will NOT tell on you.

You're welcome.

#WakeUp100

17/100

Just a Little Competitive

 

I've had my Apple watch for a couple of years now and I'm so attached to it and all that it does, when something goes wrong - it is NOT pretty. 

For example, there have been times when I have not charged it correctly overnight. There have been times - like that time I was in a mediation session - that it started warning me there was low power. Since it was unclear to me how much longer we would be "mediating" that I called Paul and made him bring me my charger. 

The thing that gets me are the monthly fitness challenges. When a new month rolls around, I get a new challenge. Last month it was to record a workout of at least 15 minutes - 16 times. That one was easy. 

For March, I have to double my move goal 27 times - TWENTY-SEVEN. There are only 31 days in the month, I don't have a big margin for error. 

I've been doing pretty well, but this week has been a struggle. 

The last 3 mornings we have gotten up to work out, but the dog has vomited or had diarrhea in his create. Today we were able to get to him outside before a huge cleanup was necessary. We've skipped the workouts to clean or baby-sit him for a bit. 

Add in, it is Spring Break at the college and I am the only coverage for the phones and Service Desk. I'm a little low on the ol' step count. 

So as of this moment -- I am at 581 calories burned, I'm short about 59. Do you know what I am going to do? 

I'm grabbing my fleece, 1 air pod, my Noxgear vest and I'm going to walk up a little bit while I listen to a podcast until my watch signals that I have hit the goal. 

I know, it doesn't make sense to me either. For some reason, I am really committed to this little badge on my watch that signifies I accomplished the goal that my watch set for me. 

I gotta jet -- it's 9:17 and we had to bed at 9:30pm -- I'm going to have to walk fast!

#WakeUp100 

16/100

 

Did you Know This?

Two years ago today, I learned this life changing kitchen hack .... I had been told that you could shred chicken with a KitchenAid mixer but I didn't believe it. 

Then I tried it. I went all those years - killing myself - shredding chicken with 2 forks. 

Chicken tacos, chicken enchiladas, and pulled chicken sandwiches.

In a SNAP!

Apparently, you can do it with a hand mixer, too ..... I have chicken all over the place when I tried it that way. So I'll happily drag out my KitchenAid and shred my 5 lbs of chicken breast in like 7 minutes. 

If you didn't know this before you read my post, you're welcome.

#WakeUp100

15/100

Cheap Bakery

For years I walked right on by that "cheap bakery" rack in Stop and Shop never giving it a look. I didn't just walk by; I turned my head like I was too good for the items you'd find there. I had this perception that they were old, damaged or "bad." 

 When the girls were little, my mother-in-law, would stay with them while we bowled. When they were old enough, she started to show up with treats. She must have mentioned that she picked something up off that rack on her regular Friday Walmart shopping trip. She asked if I ever bought anything from there and I said that I didn't. 

She went onto tell me that sometimes the stuff "wasn't in the best shape" but usually, it was fine and just close to the date -- not actually expired and it was generally a steal. 

I started to pay a little more attention, and don't you know it she was right! I scored some perfectly packaged Naan bread that was close to the date. It was 1/3 of the usual price.  SCORE!!

Over the years - we've ended up with some delicious and unexpected treats. When the girls come to the store with me, they run to scope it out. 

Yesterday, we got a container of chocolate glazed donut holes for $1.99. As we chatted with the cashier, I mentioned my "cheap bakery" find. We talked about how the items are fine and how exciting it is when you get something good. I looked at her and said "Honestly, I never really shopped there but my mother-in-law did and would regularly show up at our house with her treasures. I mostly look there and pick something up because it usually starts some conversation about her. It's my way of keeping her memory and the things that were her - part of us now" 

"I know what you mean" she said with a smile. 

So much more than a cheap donut. 

#WakeUp100

14/100

It's not Really About You

 

I have more to say about this ... but not tonight. In the spirit of transparency, "Spring Ahead" is a bit of an adjustment for me. Today, FLEW by and that alarm clock is going to be ringing at 4:50 am.  At 5:10, Paul and I will be in the basement gym starting Week 3 of our weightlifting // high intensity interval training. 

I also do the high school carpool on Monday mornings, there is not a lot of time to spare. 

Until tomorrow.......

#WakeUp100 

13/100

It's a Million Little Things

 

I regularly go out to dinner with three of my girlfriends. I think that we've been doing this for 10 years. I'm usually the ringleader - coordinating the date, the time and encouraging them to throw out ideas for the location. I usually chauffer, unless it requires parallel parking. Don't judge....

When the girls were little, it required more coordination. I needed a sitter and to leave meals for them but that additional work, worth every second with those ladies!

They always thank me for organizing and making sure we keep this going. They think it is so amazing that I will take the time to plan our night. It really isn't praiseworthy - it is selfish. I make the effort to plan the dinners and drive us around - because I need that time with them. They are not just dinner companions - they are my FRIENDS - they are my people.

They were at our wedding. 

They were dropping off gifts and food when Brooke and Kristen were born. 

A few days after I lost my job in 2014, we had a dinner planned. I emailed them and told them that I got laid off - kind of expecting we'd cancel. One of them replied fairly quickly and said "Good thing we have plans to get together tomorrow night" I remember that dinner was one of the most normal things I had done that week. That I didn't cry or feel bad. That even though we didn't really focus on my new situation, I left that dinner feeling that everything would be ok.

They hold me accountable, calling me out when I start to be too critical of myself and sometimes others. 

We've seen each other through the loss of parents, spouses and friends. We've celebrated new jobs, retirements, birthdays and anniversaries. They are some of the first people to raise their hand when you need something, anything. We've been there in sickness and in health.

These ladies are all a little bit older than me; they graciously share their life experience but are never condescending. They consider and respect my opinion as much as I do theirs. 

A few years ago, I started watching a TV show called a Million Little Things. I immediately think of this group when I watch an episode. It is almost like they were following us around to write some of those episode scripts. 

In the very first season, one character makes this toast:

"Friendship is when you don't care when your buddy throws up in your car when you're taking him back from chemo. Friendship is believing that your friend will one day make his movie. Friendship is holding a friend's hand when she loses her restaurant even though you know she's going to open up a better one. It's the person that you trust with your wallet, and your keys, and your wife, and your kids and it's being able to have the hard conversations and willing to listen. It's a million little things."

For us, the individual examples would be different until you get to the end.

"it's being able to have the hard conversations and willing to listen. It's a million little things."

Love you girls - to the moon and back

#WakeUp100

12/100

What in the WORLD?

 

Yesterday, I was going through my email and saw one from the girls' dentist. The subject line is read "Code of Conduct."

"Our staff is dedicated to providing the highest quality of care to our patients. Please show them the respect they deserve as they carry out their duties. Please remember CDA is dedicated to providing a calm and safe environment for our community's children."

What level of disrespect has to occur for you to send an email like that to all your clients. What the actual hell? 

Then they listed the tenets of the Code.

As a patient or guardian visiting our practice, please consider the following:
• If you have any questions about the care or are unhappy with the service received in our office, please contact our practice manager before you leave our office so that any clarifications about your care or the services you received can be addressed.
• Please communicate all issues that you wish to discuss with the doctor at the time your appointment is scheduled, so that an appropriate amount of time can be allotted. If you do not do this in advance, another visit may be necessary so that the doctor can give all patients the time and quality of care they deserve.
• Questions about your bill can be addressed by our billing manager.
• Our practice follows a zero-tolerance policy for aggressive behavior directed by patients against our staff.
• Please be courteous with use of your cell phone and other electronic devices. When interacting with any of our staff, please put your devices away. Set the ringer to vibrate before storing away.
• Adults are expected to supervise their children.
The following behaviors are prohibited:
• Possessing firearms or any weapon.
• Intimidating or harassing staff or other patients.
• Making threats of violence through phone calls, letters, voicemail, email or other forms written, verbal or electronic communication.
• Physically assaulting or threatening to inflict bodily harm.
• Making verbal threats to harm another individual or destroy property.
• Damaging business equipment or property.
• Making menacing or derogatory gestures.
• Making racial or cultural slurs or other derogatory remarks.

It is so disappointing the way some people behave. It is so disappointing that this dental office that services children, believed this was necessary. 

Just be kind. 

#WakeUp100

11/100

Just Another Manic Thursday?

It's 9:02 and I just woke up. We were watching a show and the next thing I knew I was doing that jump where you swear you are falling off the bed/couch/over a cliff...c'mon, you know it has happened to you too!

Paul and I are on week 2 of working out. The alarm sounds between 4:45-5 am and we roll out of bed a few minutes later. We throw on workout clothes and head to the basement. Depending on the day the routine is anywhere between 35-50 minutes. We have it figured out down to the minute in order to make sure everyone is ready on time for carpool, bus stop and commute. 

The day was filled with a handful of things that combined with it being a Thursday, I'm just tired. 

A workout.

A long walk to and from an office at one end of campus.

A close friend was recently diagnosed with cancer and the treatment plan unexpectedly changed today. This treatment should bring a more positive outcome, but my friend is a planner and this phone call on the way to the office was a lot to process. Too much at one point and we both broke down overwhelmed by the enormity of it all. 

A delicate situation at the office that required some mediation. 

A conversation with someone about an opportunity to do some new, meaningful work. 

A college fair with my oldest daughter - A. College. Fair.  How is that EVEN possible? 

A Thursday. 

I woke on the couch, a little after 9 and immediately thought "Ugh, I have to write" 

"What the heck am I going to say?"

"I'm too tired" 

Ding, ding, ding.... Say you are tired. Your readers get tired too, they will understand. 

Here's to authenticity. Here's to understanding. Here's to getting rest. 

#WakeUp100

10/100

The Tribe has Spoken

 

For years, I've watched survivor. I started in the middle of Season 1. Whatever night it was on, we gathered at a friends house and had dinner and then watched together. 

My relationship with the show has started during my first marriage and has outlasted (see what I did there) a marriage, a divorce, a new relationship, marriage and now the kids. I've been watching this show for FORTY-TWO seasons over 20 years.

It started again tonight and even though we don't have cable -- we can watch it live on a streaming service. We normally watch it the night after, but we lucked out and Daddy got home right before it started. 

It might not be the most intellectually engaging show on TV, but we all take our favorite seat on the couch and cheer our favorites on. We put our phones away and spend an hour together. 

The kids think Paul and I really care about the show, but we have outwitted them. It is just about a little uninterrupted time together. 

I live for these moments.

#WakeUp100

9/100

 

It's So Hard to Say Good-bye

 

On my way home from work tonight I had to stop at a wake for a lovely friend from church. When I got there a few minutes after 5, there was a decent line. I think it is comforting to see so many people wanting to pay their respects. It is a testament to the deceased person's impact. Whether you knew her personally - like I did or if you were friends of her daughters - like I am - I think it makes the loss a tiny little bit "less" for the grieving.

When I hugged my friend Jean, she said to me "She loved you, Heather" 

I hadn't really thought about that. That she might have loved me too.

I knew that I loved her. 

I loved her smile, her laugh and the comments on my Facebook posts and pictures - usually in the middle of the night. 

I loved the way she would tell stories from the past. 

I loved that she always spoke to the girls and always asked about Paul. 

One Saturday night we shared a table at a church dinner with Her and Kel. The UCONN Women were playing that night and while we were waiting for the next course, she leaned over to me and said "Heather, do you have your phone with you?"

"I do, do you need to make a call?"

"No. I wondered if you could get the score of the Women's game?" 

I'm sure I happily obliged. 

I'm sad that she is physically gone. I will miss seeing her in her favorite pew on Sunday mornings. I'm so grateful that I knew her and her love.

That picture of the sunset isn't from tonight but if Fran was a sunset, that's what it would look like - vibrant, colorful, warm and beautiful. 

#WakeUp100

8/100

Hurt So Good

The last weekend in February, we reclaimed the basement gym. The following Monday, we rolled out of bed at 5am and off we went to work out. 

It had been over a year. We always take a break around the peak season at UPS - Paul is working long days and needs the sleep in the morning. I use the space to set up a wrapping station where I can leave the paper, tags, tape, etc. out and easily accessible. 

We normally pick back up in January, but I was having some pretty significant issues with my feet. I spent 5 months in physical therapy in order to get that straightened out and then it was the holidays again.

So - FINALLY - after 14 months we were back on track.

Last Friday was our first "leg day" -- Paul hates leg day, I could do those exercises EVERY DAY. My legs are where all my strength lives -- they may not be the prettiest ones out there -- but they are strong. 

That being said, remember, it had been more than a year. 

At one point, Paul said "You're crazy - that's pretty heavy for week 1"

I shrugged it off and kept at it. 

We finished the workout and went on about our morning routine. As I headed downstairs to get ready to leave for the office after my shower, I immediately felt that little wobble. You know the one, right? Where you can feel your legs shake so you grab onto the railing for leverage (spoiler alert - I use the railing every. single. TIME. I go downstairs)

As Friday progressed, I could feel my muscles getting tighter by the hour. Saturday was hysterical -- Paul and I groaning every time we got up out of a chair or sat down. 

OK - maybe I did lift a little heavy for the first day. 

Today was Week 2, Day 1 - chest and triceps. 

Don't worry - no repeat mistakes here. I grabbed those little baby 5lb and 8lb weights without any hesitation. 

7/100

#WakeUp100 

She Gave Me Soap

 

I work at a small, private liberal arts college. My area employs students to provide level 1 support. Our coordinator hired excellent kids these last 2 years. They have strong technical skills as well as great customer skills. 

One of our new hires this year is from Greece. She is top-notch. She has picked up the job quickly, she is dependable and really kind to our end users -- many who are not strong with technology. 

She spent Fall Break in NYC and when she came back to work was excited to share her many pictures. When she returned to work after traveling home for Christmas, she immediately asked how my holidays were and genuinely listened to my answer. 

Then she shyly said "I brought you something" 

I was shocked ... literally one other time in 8 years have students given me a gift. 

She reached into her bag and produced this adorable little soap -- it is made from donkey milk and is very popular where she lives. First, she had no idea that I enjoy luxurious soap, but I hardly ever treat myself this way. Secondly, she had no idea that while Paul is busy pining over a goat...I am pining over a mini donkey. I told her that on more than one occasion I have come close to building a little barn and paddock for Eeyore (I know, no points for originality.) 

Without skipping a beat, she says "Back home, I have a farm - I could teach you how to take care of it" 

I laughed, and actually considered it for a few seconds, before I realized that would mean I would have to agree to the goats! 

I love connecting with these kids. 

I love that she thought about me while she was home with her parents who miss her terribly when she is with me. 

I love that she gave me a little donkey soap. 

The Last Dance

 

Tonight, Mike Krzyzewski coached his last regular season game as the Duke Men's Basketball.

He's coached for 42 years at the same place, has the most wins in college basketball and he turned 75 in February. Damn!

I’ve loved watching him coach.

I’ve loved watching his teams play. 

Well done, Coach. Well done.

Just Tell Them

Last month, I attended a meeting with a fairly large audience. One of the speakers shared information that was factual and accurate and expressed what many others in that meeting were probably thinking. Another attendee asked a question of that speaker and it came off snarky? Condescending? After considering it for sometime, I think the person who asked the question was really trying to be supportive of the speaker and it just came out wrong. 

This whole exchange has resurfaced a handful of times since that meeting and every one I talk to completely supports what was said. It occurred to me today that I hadn't told the person who made the statement that there were lots of people who agreed and supported what he said. 

So today, I sent a note that went something like this ...

..... I can't think of 1 conversation with a staff member where that has come up and it has been anything but positive around what you said. So many of us can relate (sort of) to the situation you described.

It occurred to me that maybe I should share with you - the one brave enough or maybe sleep deprived enough - to speak his truth. So here I am, sending you a note --- so you know that there's a decent contingent of people on your side.

Hang in there,


A few hours later I got a response, here's part of it

"I am about to walk into a committee meeting where we do the hardest part of our work - ...... And your email literally brought tears to my eyes."

Please know how appreciative I am of you, this email, and your incredible positivity you bring every day."


I'll be honest, I expected a reply.  What I didn't expect was how something that took just a few minutes for me to write had such a profound impact on someone and how I was moved to send it on a day, at a time where he needed to hear it. 

It didn't cost a cent, but its worth immeasurable. If you're wondering if you should say it, wondering if it matters or makes a difference .... just tell them.

We are So Lucky

Last night our accountant sent me a text to let me know our returns were completed. She would let me know when she was leaving the office and would drop them by if it wasn't too late. 

Oh, and we owed some .... 

I immediately started down that road, the one where you have all "those" thoughts"

"Just when we start to get ahead"

"Oh my gosh, where are we going to get all that money???"

"Why do we work so hard???" 

Then I caught myself. The last 2 years have been difficult for so many people. They have lost jobs, property, loved ones. 

Paul and I never stopped working our regular workload since March 2020. In fact, from March - July 2020 we would have been happy for Paul to have his hours cut a bit. He was leaving the house at 8am and getting home between 10-10:30 each night. 

We have from now until April 18 to pinch some pennies here and there to come up with the money we need that we hadn't planned on spending right now. 

We'll re-evaluate our deductions and up the additional amount withheld to try to close the gap some. 

This, too, shall pass. We are so lucky to have such abundant lives. 

#WakeUp100

Ash Wednesday Tradition

Today is Ash Wednesday and I cooked hot dogs for dinner. 

I know, you are confused -- you aren't supposed to eat meat on Ash Wednesday. 

There's a backstory, you can read it the whole thing in this post from 2011. 

The short version is Paul's Catholic, gives up meat on Ash Wednesday and Fridays during Lent. I'm Protestant and that isn't our practice. When Paul and I were dating he bowled on Wednesday nights. He'd go right from work and I would meet him there. His Dad, Joe, would come watch, faithfully, every week. During the second game, I'd go order us dinner.

That night Paul probably had a fish sandwich, but I, I ordered my usual - "the split." That was a hot dog and french fries.

Joe was obviously bothered by the fact that I was enjoying that hot dog. Months later, when we were telling Paul's mom about that night she said "He wasn't mad that you were eating it, he was mad that he COULDN'T" 

We laughed so hard. 

Then it just sort of became a thing - mostly after he passed. When the kids were little, I would load them up and take them to the snack bar at the bowling alley and we'd order hot dogs and french fries. I'd tell them about that night and other funny stories about him. They never knew him, he died in December of 2005 and Brooke arrived in September of 2006. 

Tonight, I had a meeting at 7 and Kristen stayed after school. There wasn't time to go out, but there was time to have hot dogs and remember Grandpa Joe. 

So tonight is Ash Wednesday and we had hot dogs for dinner and I am smiling for all the happy times I shared with my father in law. 

For the record, Paul had cheese pizza.

Joe Romanski throwing out the first pitch

Are You Kidding Me?

 

Many of you know that Paul has worked for UPS as a driver for over 30 years. He's had a handful of routes in different towns. He's seen some interesting things over the years. 

He's seen deer wandering through yards. He's helped turtles across the road even though some were less than grateful. 

He's delivered to houses with cats, dogs - friendly and unfriendly, and there was the house with the potbellied pig -- that lived inside the house. 

About 3 years ago, Paul took a route in Northeastern CT, almost to the Massachusetts border. The route is rural and full of farms. We enjoyed many weekend rides to Woodstock and back during 2020 when there was nowhere else to go. 

It isn't unusual to get a text from him during the day. Sometimes it is of a sign that caught his eye, sometimes it is a garden, fire pit, or some other landscape feature that he might consider adding to Romanskiville. 

Today, this was the picture I received. Paul met him a few months ago and has named him "Roy" -- that's a story for another post. Roy is super friendly, very intrigued by the big brown truck, and while he has no problem jumping up in it, does seem to be terrified to jump out. Paul regularly has to scoop him up and set him back on the ground. 

Here's Roy! 

#WakeUp100