Ebb and Flow

 

It happened today, I stopped at a stop sign, glanced over, saw a mini excavator and without even thinking, I looked to see if it was him. 

Of course, it wasn't him. He's been gone since December 28 and most days I know that, but today - just for a moment - I forgot.

In early December 2021, my uncle took a serious fall off a piece of heavy machinery. He was hospitalized, his condition was up and down, until he was gone. 

I wrote about him in early January in a post entitled Ordinary Joe, it was the first time I had posted since November 2021. It was the only post in January. 

I had been noticing the activity on that piece of property for a week or so. I would immediately think of him and similar work that he had done with Stephen and David's help at my house. Every day I pass the spot there is a little more work done. I don't recall actually seeing anyone there working until today. 

I left work a little after 4 and started the ride home. I always avoid Route 32 by going "the back way." I slowed to stop at the stop sign before making the right and the scoop on the little white excavator moved. As I turned to look, for a split-second, I thought it was him. 

Crazy, I know! 

I don't think he had a white excavator, but the man in the seat was built like him, dressed similarly and then, then my brain caught up with my heart. I looked closer and his face didn't look familiar at all. 

Eyes filled with tears, deep exhale, and reality sets in. 

"Grief is tricky" - that's what I said the entire month of January as people would ask how he was, and I would say he was gone.

Grief is like the ocean, and we keep learning how to swim.

#WakeUp100

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