PentaWHO?

#23 - I am thankful for Pentatonix

There is no Christmas tree in my house, there are no candles in the windows, but the elves move around each night, we're excitedly opening advent calendars each morning.  We are listening to Christmas music....a LOT of it! 

I'm obsessed with Pentatonix this year. I think I was introduced to them via a Facebook post a year or 2 ago. I discovered a cappella music in college and instantly fell in love so these guys were totally in my wheelhouse.

This Christmas season we are playing and replaying Pentatonix from YouTube. I'm partial to their version of Little Drummer Boy and Do You Hear What I Hear?

Sometimes we're a little Bah Humbug about Christmas in Romanskiville, but give them a listen....they'll put you in the mood!

#23 - I am thankful for Pentatonix

Fit as a Fiddle

#22 - I am thankful for good health

Last week, the 6 year old granddaughter of a colleague died after repeated battles with cancer. Her celebration of life will be on Wednesday. 

Tuesday, I have the funeral Mass for the mom of an amazing friend to Paul and then me. 

An acquaintance is in the hospital, preparing for the end of her life. I think she's in her mid-30's.

It is 15 days before Christmas.

In early November, Kristen was sick - REALLY sick. Home from school for a week and a day, no energy, no appetite and it went on. She moved from her bed to the couch and back to her bed. 

One day she ate 5 saltines - ALL DAY. The next day, half of a Popsicle. A trip to the doctor and then another ... after 9 days .. we started an antibiotic and 3 days later there was some improvement. 

We have friends and family who are not as lucky as we continue to be. We have people in our village who have children with cancer, long term heart conditions, and other serious health issues. 

I think when you have good health you too easily forget the gift that it is and, perhaps, you become a bit complacent. 

I'm going to stop doing that.....

#22 - I am thankful for good health

A Christmas Miracle

#21 - I am thankful for surprises

Earlier tonight, I sat down and wrote most of a blog post with the intention of adding some pictures when I got home. It talked about all the texts, emails, and other messages I received all day long wishing me congratulations and good luck. 

I wrote about how excited I was to have the girls there with my brother and sister in law to watch me be sworn in. 

I wrote about how I was anxious and nervous and ... a little sad. I wanted so desperately for Paul to be there but after 15 years with this UPS man .. in peak season .. the thought that he would make a 7:30 pm event is well sort of ridiculous. I promised him in the morning that there would be pictures and video and it was all good ... 

A little before 7 a dear friend texted "Where is the ceremony tonight?" I answered and wanted to say, "please come" but I know how hectic and crazy her schedule is -- so I didn't dare.

The girls and I loaded up and made our way to City Hall. I was glad that I decided on the nylons and fancy boots when I saw the honor guard and bagpiper. I was taken back by the pageantry ... the dress uniforms, the suits, and that there was a formal procession into chambers. I was a little more disappointed when I saw what a "to do" this was and that Paul was missing it. 

Cindy, David and the girls found their seats and I waited in the hallway with a fellow board member. James and I were chatting away, talking about the meeting next week and then I saw a guy in a UPS turn the corner, I didn't even have to look at the face to know who it was .... HE MADE IT and walked in with my sister by his side. 

When we took our seats in Council Chambers, I saw my family all sitting together and looked to the left and saw my friend who texted earlier sitting near them. My heart was full. 

Needless to say, I had to rewrite this whole post. Truth to be told .. it was worth every minute. I am so grateful for every single one of my "people" who showed up tonight and so very thankful that we had another opportunity for a #CoreFour moment

#21 - I am thankful for surprises

Old School

#20 - I am thankful for my planner

I can't let go of a paper planner ... I like to block out chunks of time, cross things off lists, and see things laid out before me. Don't get me wrong .. I am an electronic calendar evangelist too ... I think it is crazy when colleagues don't send meeting invitations or update the group calendar .... I live by them both!

About a year ago, I discovered the Living Well Planner online. It was a bit of an investment but after watching the introductory video - it seemed like it was my "thing".  Maybe because I identified so much with the creator, Ruth Soukup. Her first marriage failed, she's a blogger, mother of 2, and seems like we're probably close in age. 

Anyway, back to the planner .... first of all it is bright and colorful and it comes undated so you can start .... whenever. Then at the beginning of every month, there is quote .. this is one of my favorites ... it resonates with the changes we've made in the last year to live our life with purpose and intention.

Then there are these pages for goal setting and a place to plan how to "Crush your Goal" ... I was going like gangbusters when first got my planner and watched the video series that comes with it. Then I fell off the wagon for a bit. At the end of October, I found a few minutes of quiet one night and planned out my monthly goals for November ... It felt so good to have that plan in front of me. It also felt a little less daunting to see it all listed out in the target areas and then the Big Three .... 2 of which I have already checked OFF!!!

I wasn't 100% ... the page where the plan to crush a goal sits awkwardly blank .... but there's always December!

I bought another planner in October. It was a little cheaper and it was more specifically designed to support my direct sales business. I used it for a week ... I love the cover and that my name is on it but it just doesn't work for me the way this one does and the spiral binding on that one sucks. 

I am sure it sounds a little hokey ... but this planner and the materials that go along with it speak to me. I am seeing results of my effort. That, in itself, makes this planner priceless. 

#livingwellplanner 

#20 - I am thankful for my planner

Wow, that is really smart ....

#19 - I am thankful for my smartphone

I've carried a mobile phone for a long time ... mostly because I've had a job where I needed to be "available" for after hours support.

I've had just about every kind out there -- flip phones, Treo, BlackBerry, and I'm currently on my 3rd iPhone (I think)

Besides the ability to make and receive phone calls when I am not at my desk or home, it does so much more for me. 

The camera is better then the point and shoot camera that I still tote on vacation. 

I can use it as a Walkman when I run or walk.

I can check my email, send text messages or be connected to our Google Chats at work. 

I can easily help my student staff after hours. 

I can pay bills, get discounts at some of my favorite stores, and I can deposit a check into my account ... From. My. PHONE. 

I think phones are overpriced and I'm probably on it more than I should be but it would be hard for me to get through a day without it. 

#19 - I am thankful for my smartphone

Prime Time

#18 - I am thankful for Amazon Prime

Like many of you, we are celebrating Thanksgiving on Thursday. This year my parents are in CT and after our traditional trek to the movies in the morning we'll be treated to a delicious, traditional Thanksgiving meal at their house. 

Then on Saturday, we'll all gather again to celebrate Christmas .... yes ... Christmas. My parents will be on the West Coast in December so we're gathering exactly a month early. 

No big deal, right? I've known that I need to be shopping for months and even picked up an item or 2 in September and October. Then the campaign really gathered steam and the next thing I knew ... November 19th.  I had a WEEK ..... Paul and I did a little divide and conquer. He went out to the stores and I sat at the computer, logged onto Amazon, credit card in hand. Today, I arrived home to boxes. Woo Hoo ... let the wrapping begin!

#18 - I am thankful for Amazon Prime

Wonder

# 17 - I am thankful for that I read Wonder

Brooke read the book Wonder in school. I had heard great things about it and then in early May I saw a trailer for the film based on the book. I immediately wanted to see the movie. I try to read the book first whenever I can. We were lucky enough to have a librarian friend hook us up with 3 copies so we read at our own pace. 

The girls finished way before me. We had a 7 hour ride to Maine and then a 7 hour ride home and I was driving - they had the edge. If you have kids, I highly recommend reading the same book as them. 

Filled with excitement, the girls would ask me what page I was on and could I believe this or that. We had some of the BEST conversations about kindness, acceptance, and family. We talked about Auggie Pullman like he lived in our neighborhood. There are more books in the series so we're hoping Santa will leave a copy for each of us so that we continue on the journey. 

Kindness and acceptance are the main themes of this book and I'm big on kindness. After years in customer service, I appreciate when people are kind and patient with my staff. I appreciate it when they take the time to send an email to let me know about a positive experience. I love when I open the mailbox and find a card thanking me for something I did that made someone's day. 

I often tell the girls - "imagine if tomorrow, every one was kind to one more person than they were today. Imagine how amazing the world would be"  I could hear my own voice when I read the following passage in Wonder ...

“If every person in this room made it a rule that wherever you are, whenever you can, you will try to act a little kinder than is necessary - the world really would be a better place. And if you do this, if you act just a little kinder than is necessary, someone else, somewhere, someday, may recognize in you, in every single one of you, the face of God.”
― R.J. Palacio, Wonder

Read the book Wonder, even if there are no middle schoolers in your house ... it will make you smile, it might make you cry, and it will make you think about choosing kindness over being right every single time. 
#wonder #choosekindness #auggiepullman #gratitude

# 17 - I am thankful for that I read Wonder

Strength in Numbers

# 16 - I am thankful for all those votes

During the summer of 2016, I decided to run for a seat on the Board of Education. I had been quietly considering a run but was afraid to say it out loud. One night, over dinner at Irene's, I was talking to Paul about the ways I thought the schools could save money, ways to improve parent engagement and communication. 

"You should run for the Board of Ed." He said.

I couldn't believe my ears. Paul is a fly under the radar, strong policy of no political signs in the yard kinda guy. Now he is suggesting that I put myself out there .... name on signs, debate talking, door knocking candidate.

I talked to current board members, joined the Democratic Town Committee, and started floating the idea of a candidacy. There was a lot of positive feedback. 

An endorsement, head shots, walk cards, table sitting at events and talking to people every where I went. A forum and a debate. More talking. 

Tuesdays are busy in our house and Kristen was sick .. too sick for dance and to attend the party while we waited for results to come in. 

Paul picked up Brooke and then joined me while we waited. My brother and sister in law came and waited too. We were waiting for numbers from 6 polling places and it seemed like an eternity. 

I left the restaurant around 9 with 2600 votes before the absentee ballots were counted. There were 11 candidates, 9 available seats and that put me on the board with the 3rd highest vote count. 

When I woke up the next morning, another 115 votes from absentee ballots, over 10% of the votes. 

I have been showered with such amazingly kind words the few days before and the days following my win...

"You are a superb candidate and it was an honor to hold your sign at our visibility events"

"You deserve a win tonight, Good Luck"

"I don't want to be presumptuous- but goodness knows you were clearly the best choice!

"I'm un-surprised, you are one of the most qualified candidates for anything I've seen in a long time"

"You should be very proud Heather! What a great role model for your kids... and us all!"

"Norwich voters certainly made the right choice in you!"

"you are amazing-the students and teachers will benefit from your gift of knowledge, time and energy"

I hope that I can live up to the expectations that have been set. I'm humbled by the two thousand seven hundred and fifteen people who believed in me and went to the polls.

# 16 - I am thankful for all those votes

Financially Connected

#15 - I am thankful for online bill pay and mobile deposit

I've been paying bills online for so long, I hardly remember when I had to write checks, put them in the envelope and mail them in time for them to get to their destination by the due date. 

I love the flexibility and on the off chance I sorta forget to pay something it is pretty easy (and fast) to recover.

About a year ago, I discovered that I could deposit a check into my account from an app on my phone. This was a game changer for me ... I own a direct sales business and this was literally life changing. To not have to go to the credit union and wait in line during their "super convenient" business hours meant money in my pocket sooner. 

#15 - I am thankful for online bill pay and mobile deposit

Comfort Food

#14 - I am thankful for pot roast

I love pot roast - a lot. I go to dinner regularly with a group of girlfriends and we always try to go somewhere new. They know if there is pot roast on the menu .... there's a 99% chance that is what I am ordering. 

Funny thing is --- I suck at cooking pot roast. Which is kind of weird because most people say - just put it in your crock-pot all day and you're good. 

I've bought little cuts of meat, bigger cuts, I've seared, I've floured, I've marinated .... I seriously am NOT going to ever be famous for my pot roast. 

I think that is why I am always so excited to get it when I go out, because I have sort of given up on trying to get it right. 

Last Sunday, I had a lunch date with some of my girls. Kathy arrived first and she walked in with a bag ... Halloween ghost lollipops she crafted for the girls, a container I sent leftovers home with her one night, and then she took one of the most thoughtful gifts ever out of the bag. 

"I brought you some pot roast" .... 

"Pot roast???? You brought me pot roast?" 

It might seem like an odd gift, but to me it was incredibly thoughtful. One of my favorite foods, expertly prepared and I got 3 meals out of it .. a dinner and 2 lunches. I wonder if I was supposed to share it ... oh well... I didn't.

#14 - I am thankful for pot roast

Dinner?

#13 - I am thankful for Church Dinners

From October to May, our church holds a dinner once a month on a Saturday night. The menu changes from month to month, but November is always Turkey and March is always Corned Beef and Cabbage. The main meal is delicious and the dessert is always something amazing! 

We usually go every month and treat my mother in law. This month was extra special because my cousin's family joined us too. They have 2 girls and when they get together with our 2 it is pure laughter and chaos. 

 

There's also the added bonus that I get a night off from cooking. 

#13 - I am thankful for Church Dinners

Spare Me

#12 - I am thankful for Sunday Night Bowling

Early in our relationship we joined a bowling league. We've bowled on Sunday nights for the last fifteen years - with the same couple. 

For 36 weeks out of the year, you can find the 4 of us mowing down the pins, sharing a couple of beers, and having so much fun. 

I often tell people that I believe it is part of the reason that our marriage is so solid. We get 3 hours together, with uninterrupted conversation with 2 of our best friends. We'd never consistently get together were it not for bowling. 

Our bowling career has weathered weddings, funerals, babies, layoffs, new jobs, new houses, injuries, and a handful of team names. 

We've passed Evelyn around from team member to team member when she was too little to leave with a sitter and we've had the unfortunate opportunity to watch Paul bowl a frame in his underwear ... long story!

We have met some of the nicest people - people we probably wouldn't have met if weren't at the bowling alley on a Sunday night. 

#12 - I am thankful for Sunday Night Bowling

Where you stand

Today we said a final good-bye to someone Paul described as "one of my best friends." Even though he was in his 70's his passing was unexpected. I'm so grateful for the friends and family who called and texted to let Paul know they were thinking of him. 

The wake and funeral were well attended and we had "reserved" seats down front. I found myself looking for him as we waited for the service to start. It was so odd to be in that beautiful cathedral and not see him scampering around preparing for whatever occasion was about to take place. 

I've spent the last week a little heart broken - because I am so sad for my husband and our close friends who lost an integral member of their family. 

Paul's friend and I didn't always have the relationship we had at the end. Contentious was probably an understatement. At some point, things changed, he softened and we came to understand that there was a place for both us in Paul's life. I'm pretty sure someone pulled him aside and had a little "come to Jesus" moment with him, regardless, we became friends. 

Paul and I drove to the cemetery ourselves, it was a bit of a ride so we were remembering funny moments and stories the way you do. How he was particular about this and that. 

I smiled and said "you always knew where you stood with him." Paul chuckled and said "that's for sure"

As someone who stood, first on the bad side and then on the good side, there's something to be said for someone who can speak their truth. 

Honestly, I'd pick that person over the person who greets you with a hug and a kiss then lies to your face and stabs you in the back. 

There's something to be said for knowing where you stand.

Land of the free

#11 - I am thankful for those that serve

Even though yesterday banks were closed and schools were off, November 11th is Veteran's Day. 

Both of our fathers served.


Many of our friends and neighbors served.

Now, a handful of our friends children are enlisting.

We live in a very different world today. I am thankful for these brave men and women who make the sacrifice. 

Holliday - US Army

#11 - I am thankful for those that serve

Living with Grace

#10 - I am thankful for Grace

About 18 months ago, we lost someone who had quickly become important to our family. No warning, no time to prepare .. just gone in the blink of an eye. 

I write about her from time to time. Sometimes because I still can't believe that she is gone. Sometimes because something reminds me of her. Sometimes just so we won't forget. I used to ask her mom's permission before I posted. One time I said that I worried that what I write might make her feel bad .... her response "trust me, nothing you say can hurt me more than I have already been hurt. It helps me to hear others talk about her, it is the greatest gift that you could give me."

The tragedy of her death really changed the way we approached our family life. We vowed to stop talking about things with "we should", "some day", etc. We spent a family weekend in NH with friends and their kids. We had the most amazing vacation in Aruba with 2 of our best friends in April. We've focused more on quality time together - just the 4 of us. We've had an amazing year. I don't regret one thing we skipped to focus on our Core Four. 

Last October, this thing happened where I thought I saw Grace in a crowd at the movie theater -- months after her accident. I wrote about it in a post called Breathless

Last weekend, checking email I found a new comment on that blog post. 

#graceisallaround #livewithGrace

#10 - I am thankful for Grace

Name that tune

#9 - I am thankful for music

I love music - I have it on as much as I can. I love to sing along, not going to win a recording contract but that's ok. 

One of my favorite things is when the girls and I turn the music up a little louder in the car and sing along.

I carry my iPad into the bathroom so I can play music while I shower and get ready in the morning. 

For me a run isn't doable without music. One time I ran a 5k and forgot my earbuds ... sorry fellow runners ... you all had to listen to my music or I never would have gotten through those 3.1 miles

It is on in the kitchen or playing on my computer when I'm working at home or in the office. 

Sometimes it is for comfort, sometimes it brings me joy and sometimes it melts away the anger. 

It is almost always there.

#9 - I am thankful for music

Java

#8 - I am thankful for coffee

I'm not going to lie. I love coffee and my day doesn't start right if I don't have it. Just the smell of it brewing makes me happy. 

Funny thing is, I didn't start drinking it until I was 30 and it was totally for a guy. He made coffee a whole experience. On a weekend afternoon he liked to go to this cute little cafe and order a coffee and just enjoy that coffee ... no cookies, no pastry, just coffee. 

So with lots of cream and lots of sugar .. I made myself drink it. The more I drank it the less sugar and less cream I added - until it could actually be considered coffee and not coffee flavored milk. 

Paul is not a coffee drinker so before the girls it was one cup of coffee to start my day. When the girls were babies and sleep eluded me .. I drank the entire pot, every day. 

I still drink an entire pot - but it is the 5 cup baby pot that you find in your hotel room. 

#8 - I am thankful for coffee

Get out the vote

#7 - I am thankful for the right to vote

Election day is always in November and it is always what I am thankful for on that day. I think voting is so very important..... 

This year I am a candidate for a seat on our city's Board of Education so today feels a little different than it has in the past. 

Paul and I went to the Senior Center together to cast our ballots. We posted the last of my signs at the polling places and shook hands with a couple of candidates.

Campaigning is not for the faint of heart -- the door knocking, the phone calls, the events, the debates ... I think I could sleep for a week straight.

A handful of people hung up on me and one lady asked me what I was going to do about Betsy DeVos. I chuckled when she was preaching to me about DeVos because - seriously? I feel like I can be a strong voice but ousting DeVos isn't even on my radar. 

This weekend I heard our current President has the lowest approval rating since they starting tracking approval ratings. I re-read my post from last year, Rock Bottom much of that still applies. 

I vote every time an opportunity presents itself -- primaries, mid-terms, presidential. It is more than a right, it is a privilege.

I hope you are all as thankful as I am that you can vote and that you do.

#7 - I am thankful for the right to vote

Where everybody knows your name

#6 - I am thankful for our favorite pizza place

We frequent a local family restaurant in town, Irene's. We always got pizza and grinders from there but at some point we started going and eating in. The food is delicious and they are great with the girls. When they were younger Kristen loved ravioli but it wasn't on the kids menu. They happily made her a smaller portion. 

They know what we order to drink, they know the girls by name, they know that Paul's grinder is "no cheese, no tomato"  -- they know US.  We go there so much that a couple of sneaky people at work put us on the Irene's menus and strategically placed them on the table when they invited us to join them. The girls LOVED it. 

I love that there is a wide variety on the menu, that they make the best soup, and that everything tastes so good. 

Over the summer, the girls were traveling with my parents and Paul and I went for a late dinner. One of our usual servers asked where the girls were. Then she went on to say "I love your family, you have the best dynamic, you interact the whole time you're here" We were caught completely off guard. We thanked her for noticing and for mentioning it to us. She went on to say that she sees so many people sitting at the table but not interacting - that they are all on their phones. She mentioned our Tic Tac Toe and Hangman games and how we talk to each other and that is makes her smile.

I left Irene's that night full - my stomach and my heart - full. 


#6 - I am thankful for our favorite pizza place

How ya gonna get there?

#5 - I am thankful for Google Maps

Last weekend we traveled to Massachusetts for a wedding. Our friends graciously invited us to stay with them AND to take the girls. 

Paul hadn't been to their house in years. We also needed to get from their house, to the church, and to the reception location and then BACK to their house!

Before the days of google maps -- it would have been phone calls, directions written on a sheet of notebook paper and .. I don't even really remember how you figured out how to get anywhere without using the internet or Google maps. 

I think I used AAA or my Dad, my Dad knows how to get anywhere. Well, there was that time he had an old map and we almost froze to death on a logging road in Upstate NY (that's a story for another post) but other than that he knows how to get anywhere.

#5 - I am thankful for Google Maps

Daybreak

#4 - I am thankful for quiet mornings

I'm often the first one up in Romanskiville regardless of weekday or weekend. I head downstairs, start the coffee and walk the dog. I curl up with a book, catch up on laundry, pay bills, meal prep or something else on the "to do's". Sometimes it's only 15 minutes and sometimes it's an hour ... but that time gives me a chance to think, plan, problem solve with out any distraction. Sometimes I just get to take in the view...

#4 - I am thankful for quiet mornings

Pretty as a Picture

#3 - I am thankful for our family photographs

I try to be so good about taking pictures of concerts, halloween costumes, birthday parties and Christmas morning. We have thousands of pictures from before we were married til now. 

Thing is, when you're the one taking the pictures you aren't in the pictures or I'm in the picture but Paul isn't. 

Lucky for us, a close friend and neighbor has taken an interest in photography and has a sweet camera. She often thinks to bring it along and then makes it a point to take pictures of the 4 of us. 

Don't get me wrong -- we have those thousands of pictures of all those magical moments .. but the ones of the 4 of us .. those are my absolute favorites. 

#3 - I am thankful for our family photographs

We are Family

#2 - I am thankful for my work family

I mentioned that earlier this week we had a pretty serious storm. We have some damage to the truck and the Honda but we were pretty much unscathed. A close friend had a gigantic tree fall across her driveway and take down wires. 

She has been without power, water, heat, and her car since Sunday night. Thinking she might get attention fairly quickly given the lines were wrapped in the tree and a hazard she stayed home on Monday. 

Tuesday, co-workers picked her up on their way in. She showered at another co-worker's house. She took my car at lunch to get water, duraflame logs, and something to cook on her gas stove. I took her home that afternoon ... but I had to fight for the privilege because there were so many people who were willing to pitch in and lend a hand. 

Tuesday and Wednesday saw no change in the situation ... not ETA on when Eversource might be able to get there to clear the mess. 

We continued to be her unofficial UBER drivers. It is just what we do for each other. It is exactly what SHE would do if one of us were in jam. She would have rolled up her sleeves and made a plan to solve the current situation. 

The 10 years before I went to the college, I worked from home. I worked with great people there too -- but they couldn't pick me up and drive me to or from work. They couldn't dog sit or come to my house on Christmas Eve day and read books with the girls. They couldn't take the girls for a Sunday afternoon to make surprise Christmas crafts. 

I've been on the receiving end of so much generosity in the last 3 years.  I - we - are so fortunate to have landed where we have. 

#2 - I am thankful for my work family

Power

November 1st .... the beginning of Thirty Days of Thanks. 

#1 - I am thankful for power .. like electricity

Sunday night, we had a terrible storm. Trees down, roads closed, utility poles snapped, school cancellations and delays on Monday. A large tree limb fell and damaged 2 of our 3 vehicles. 

We never lost power. Not. Even. A. Blink. 

I have a friend who has 2 large trees wrapped in electric wires blocking her driveway. She has no power. That means no water. She can't get her car down her driveway. 

So tonight's "I am thankful for..." was easy!

#30daysofthanks

#1 - I am thankful for power .. like electricity

Time

8:37 pm. 

That's what time Paul got home from work tonight. Last night was 8:15 and the night before was 8:30. I think there was one night last week where he got home about 7:40. We aren't even close to "peak" season.

Brooke gets home from school around 3:40 and I grab Kristen with a minute or 2 to spare before 5. Homework, dinner, walk the dog, feed the dog, laundry, unpacking from everyone's day ... some nights there is dance, some nights a meeting, there is thirty-one work to do, and showers, prep for the next day. 

These super late nights were just something that happened occasionally until the beginning of September when Paul's start time changed. Now those 7:30 nights are a cause for celebration. 

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining .... I am very aware that there are a lot of women out there doing this single-handed, 24 x 7. Some of these women are my friends - I'm so impressed by their strength and determination but mostly their stamina!  I have a friend who sends her man out to sea for months at time. I'm so thankful that mine comes home every night. 

I'm grateful that he does the dishes and cleans the kitchen before he heads out in the morning. I love that he gets up at 6 am to spend 35 minutes working out with me in the gym that he built in our basement. My heart sings when the very first thing he does when he walks through the door is head to kiss the girls.

I can see they miss having him around at night. They text him for an ETA. They start to peek out the window as it gets close. They squeal with glee when they hear the front door open. 

This will get easier as they get older, they'll stay up later. They will be busier at night with work, school clubs, friends, and eventually they won't need us to chauffeur. 

For now, it is forcing us to pick and choose how we spend the precious little time we have together. It is so hard to balance and prioritize and sometimes we make unpopular decisions. People judge. People take your choices personally. People say you are selfish. 

About a year ago, Paul and I made a very conscious decision to make some changes - we were running ourselves ragged trying to make every event, accept every invitation and we weren't always focused on the four of us. 

The last year has been one of our best. We've been present for each other in ways we weren't before. Our kids are thriving. Our marriage is solid.

We got through one of the most hectic and crazy months I can remember - together. 

9:44 pm - He's just finished eating dinner .... in 20 minutes we'll head upstairs and get ready for bed ... because that 5:30 am alarm comes early

Kindness Counts

I read a book recently that talked about the power of affirmations. It was so bold as to say "DROWN YOURSELF IN AFFIRMATIONS" .. the author talks about training your brain to think differently. She says "Figure out what affirmations you need to hear the most and repeat them all day long in your head, in the car, while you're walking down the street.." Anyway, you get the idea. 

So I'm reading this book and trying to figure out what I need to hear most at a time when there is all sorts of chaos in our lives -- school is out, work hours are shortened, our summer childcare situation is so confusing and convoluted that my head wants to explode. 

I'm having a conversation with a really good friend and she says "I'm just going to keep doing what I know is right because I know in my heart I am a good person" .. when I read what she typed in that text message - I thought to myself .. I need to print that up and tape it to the bathroom wall .. so it is the first thing I see in the morning. I shared my plan with my friend -- she mentioned that we have a mutual friend who might cross-stitch it for me. Much less rednecky than my taped piece of printer paper to the wall idea!

I ask my cross-stitching friend if I could pay her to make my vision come to life. She agrees to do it. I tell her my colors and she comes up with a design and I love it. We agreed that she could get to it whenever because she has other projects in process to finish first. 

Fast forward a couple of months.....

The last few weeks have been particularly hectic at work and at home, add in that Paul's start time has been pushed back and he is routinely home after 8pm. This last week has been really trying ... like I'm ready for bed at 8:30 and making my way there closer to 11. 

A few mornings ago, I made my way to the work kitchen to heat up some breakfast and glanced at the mailboxes on my way by. I could see that something was in mine and I think I sighed out loud. You know the sigh that says "what now???"

When I finally made my way to check it ... I was so pleasantly surprised. There it was, my affirmation. Exactly the way I envisioned it - in the colors I asked for, complete with a beautiful blue frame.  I couldn't thank her right away, because she was away from her desk. 

When I finally caught up with her. I told her how it was perfect - exactly the way I pictured it in my head and I asked her what I owed her. 

"Nothing."  She said.

I argued "I didn't want this to cost you anything"

"It cost me nothing to make"

"but your time" I said ...

"You do nice things for people all the time. I wanted to do something for you" She replied. 

I am filled with gratitude for her friendship and kindness. That beautiful project will eventually make its way to the place I planned for it to hang .. but for now it sits on my desk at work, where I glance it several times a day. #kindnesscounts